Secret Souls
by Lachenna
Summary: A collection of AllenxKanda one-shots centered around their relationship. Basically different stories about how they get together, how people find out, etc. Stories 2, 3, and 6 have lemons. Story 5 contains mpreg.
1. Story 1 - Surprise

Story 1: "Surprise"

Summary: In which Lenalee and Lavi discover a certain secret.

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

We were on our way home, but there was a problem with the tracks and the next train wouldn't be until tomorrow. It baffled me that Central wouldn't allow Allen to use the ark to get us home quicker.

We found an inn to stay at, but while we were settling in, something set Allen and Kanda off. I didn't see what happened, but the two couldn't be in a room together for more than five minutes without fighting unless there was food or akuma involved, so I didn't particularly care. The usual Moyashi's and Bakanda's were exchanged, then came the clashing of Innocence and stronger insults. I rolled my eyes and ignored them. As long as they could put their differences aside on the battlefield, and didn't actually kill the other off of it, I didn't care that they hated each other. I loved my nakama like family, and having siblings that fought like cats and dogs just made everything feel so much more real. And so I didn't think anything of it when, like usual, one of them took an insult too far, causing the other to activate their Innocence and chase them out of the room. It was routine, expected. Allen and Kanda would never get along. Even Link was used to it. He no longer tried to make them stop or chased after Allen when they ran off. And today was no exception. Instead of following after his charge, he pulled out a book and settled into a chair in the lobby, simply waiting out Allen's return.

With no akuma in the area to fight - Allen had done a scan when we first arrived - Lavi and I wandered aimlessly through the marketplace, but there was nothing to see and it didn't kill as much time as we had hoped. We headed back towards the inn, deciding it was time to check on Allen and Kanda and make sure they were still alive.

We were a couple blocks away when we caught sight of something strange.

At first, it was just a glimpse of long dark blue hair. Knowing of only one person who had that hair color, we moved closer silently, wanting to make sure it was Kanda before we drew attention to ourselves, mostly because if it was Kanda he would kill us for making a scene.

The second look revealed that it was indeed Kanda, and his hair was down, out of its usual ponytail. And I'm not going to lie: Kanda with his hair down was smoking hot. I might have said something about it, but what he was doing was so completely unexpected that I was frozen in place.

Kanda Yuu had a girl pinned to the wall of the dark alley. And he was making out with her.

We couldn't see her very well in the dim light, just a pair of dark knee high boots and long dark coat. Kanda's body had her pressed into the wall so firmly that we couldn't make out any part of her aside from the general impression of her clothes. And his hair, that curtain of navy blue that reached past his waist, obscured any chance of making out the girl's features. In fact, we could only tell they were making out from the, rather loud, noises they were making.

I could do nothing but gape, my jaw practically reaching the ground. Kanda, antisocial homicidal Kanda, was with a girl. It seemed too impossible. No one back home would ever believe this!

Lavi wasn't quite as shell-shocked as I was. "Hey Yuu-chan! Nice catch!"

Kanda and the girl froze in horror, the animalistic growl he let out fiercer than any he'd ever given to Allen. He didn't even look up to threaten Lavi. "Usagi. Fuck off. If you don't leave now I can't guarantee that you'll wake up tomorrow."

Lavi gulped at the threat, but didn't back down. Could he not see that this was not one of Kanda's usual death threats, and he actually intended to carry it out? Instead, he pressed the issue further. "But I wanna see! You've never expressed any interest in anyone ever. I wanna know what kind of girl gets your motor running."

Kanda growled again, but didn't move, keeping the position that blocked the girl from view. Odd. Usually by now, he'd have Mugen at Lavi's throat. The growl was followed by a whisper so faint that I could barely tell that the girl had said anything. Kanda grunted in response. "Not a girl, Baka Usagi. Now fuck off."

 _'Not a girl'?_ Then Kanda was ... making out with ... a guy? Lavi and I exchanged looks of disbelief. Kanda was gay? I had no clue how to process that information, and apparently neither did Lavi. "You're gay? What? When did that happen?"

"Che. None of your damn business, Baka. Now, run away while you still have your life." Kanda sounded ready to murder Lavi right then and there, it was terrifying knowing that this wasn't like his usual threats and he would actually go through with killing Lavi.

Thinking we had left, the pair resumed their make out session, only this time it was louder. We stared as Kanda moved his leg, separating the other's legs with his knee. The knee slid upward along the wall until it was resting against the other man's groin. Unable to move I watched in a sick combination of fascination and horror as Kanda began to tease the man's crotch with his knee. The moans that escaped the man were breathy from the lack of air caused by the kissing. And I was shocked to realize that I recognized the voice. _But that just wasn't possible. There was no way it would actually be him._ Without realizing it, the name slipped off my tongue. "Allen-kun?"

"Eh?" Lavi's freaked out exclamation came at the same time as Kanda's angry, "Fuck!"

"Did I not make myself clear earlier? Go. The. Fuck. Away." Kanda's aura grew colder and more murderous than I'd ever felt it before. I flinched away, still trying to process what I was seeing.

Lavi's expression had changed from disbelief to panic, but a different kind of panic from what Kanda wanted. "I can't leave if you're doing unspeakable things to our innocent little Allen-chan."

"Che. I'm not doing anything to him that he doesn't want. Now leave us alone." To prove his point he pressed his knee against _"_ Allen's _"_ groin. The moan "Allen" let out was clearly begging for more.

"Allen" and Kanda. What? How? When? I could barely breathe. It made no sense. They hated each other. There was no way that they were actually together. Kanda had to be pulling one over on us. That or Lavi's fears were right, and Kanda was on the verge of raping our little brother.

But then "Allen" spoke, and even though it was just one softly spoken word, there was no denying that it was really him. "Bakanda."

Kanda clicked his tongue and took a step back, revealing a flushed and panting Allen Walker. His short white hair was sticking out in all different directions, and his silver eyes were clouded with ... lust? He actually wanted Kanda? He looked in our general direction, but from the glazed look in his eyes, I got the impression that he couldn't actually see us. "Could you please leave? I'd like to finish what we started in privacy, and I know that Yuu here doesn't give a shit and he'll continue whether you're here or not."

If I weren't already shocked beyond words, I might have caught the swear word that "innocent little Allen-chan" used. Or that he had used Kanda's first name without getting almost skewered by Mugen. As it was, I didn't even register Lavi pulling me out of that alley, or that this time Allen was the one pinning Kanda to the wall.

.x.x.

I'd been the old panda's apprentice for quite some time. I'd become a little jaded. I thought I'd seen everything. Until that day.

Seeing Kanda like that, seeing him making out with someone, was completely mind blowing. I knew he'd hate me for it, but I pestered him with questions, I had to get as much information as I could. And my brain just about exploded when he admitted to being gay. I wished Allen was there to see it for himself, he'd never believe me.

Except that he was there the whole time!

When Lenalee whispered his name, it took my trained eye less than a second to recognize the body pressed into the wall as Allen. Panic took over immediately. I had to stop Kanda from raping Allen. It was a stupid idea for several reasons; the biggest two were that it was a lapse of emotion that the panda would chew me out for, and Kanda was seriously ready to kill me. I tried anyway.

In retrospect, I'm not sure why my brain immediately jumped to rape. Lenalee and I had been watching the make out session for a good five minutes. And Allen was perfectly capable of taking care of himself. If he was truly in distress, he would have said something to us.

And the look on Allen's face when he finally pushed Kanda off... That was yet another sight that blew my mind. I had always thought of Allen as innocent and naive. But that look belonged to someone much more experienced than I was. The idea that Allen wasn't a virgin made my brain hurt, and even more impossible was knowing that it was _Kanda_ who did it.

I fled. I couldn't process what I was seeing anymore. Lenalee looked like I felt, and didn't protest when I dragged her away. It was still early, but I went back to the inn. She looked ready to collapse and I knew that I wasn't much better. What we'd just witnessed was cause for an early bedtime.

.x.x.

I didn't see Allen or Kanda again until breakfast the next morning. Lavi had led me straight to my room after what we witnessed in the alley, and I lost consciousness as soon as I collapsed on the bed. On waking, I had assumed the whole thing was a dream, but breakfast proved me wrong.

Allen and Kanda came in together. They were bickering about something, but it was clearly different from their normal arguing. They sat next to each other, and the four of us (no one noticed or cared that a certain stalker was missing) talked about the weather and other menial things. It was much like a normal meal, except that Allen didn't fly off the handle at his nickname. And it was surreal to realize that the lack of ice I noticed in Kanda's glare had actually been gone for months.

Eventually Lavi brought attention to the elephant in the room. I'm kind of surprised he waited, he looked like he wanted to pounce on them the second they came in. "Sooo... Can we ask about what happened yesterday?"

Kanda and Allen exchanged a look, holding a silent conversation. Kanda broke away and devoted his attention to his food. "Che."

Allen rolled his eyes with a whispered "Bakanda", and then turned his attention back to Lavi and me. "You can ask, but don't expect us to tell you anything." His tone was defensive, and it seemed out of place coming from that sweet boy.

Lavi immediately jumped on the permission to ask the questions that had been bouncing around in his head all night. "Was yesterday a one-time thing or are you actually together? How long have you been together? Who started it? Do you-"

He cut off abruptly as his chair tumbled over backwards. Kanda, whom I assumed had done the kicking, was smirking at Allen, whose face was the picture of innocence. Once Lavi had ceased grumbling and returned to his seat, Allen spoke. "If you want answers you're going to have to give us time to talk."

Lavi either didn't catch the danger in Allen's voice or he ignored it. "Fair enough." He laughed. "So how long have you two been a couple?"

"Six months?" The question in Allen's voice was directed at Kanda.

I spoke before catching Kanda's nonverbal response. "You don't know how long you've been together?"

Kanda clicked his tongue and Allen blushed a little. "That wasn't what Lavi asked." He looked down at his empty plates. "We've been together since I first came to the Order. But I don't know if we're a couple or not."

"Why'd you say six months? You've been at the Order a lot longer than that." Lavi brought up a good point.

Allen's blush deepened. Kanda laughed, or rather chuckled at Allen's expense, and then spoke bluntly. "Because prior to six months ago all we did was have sex."

My eyes bulged out of my head. Lavi seemed as blown away as I felt. Allen looked mortified for a moment, then immediately rounded on Kanda. "Bakanda!"

"What?" Kanda's smirk was very smug. "You weren't ever going to say it, Moyashi."

Allen was momentarily speechless. "Bu- I- No- I- Fine. But you didn't have to say it like that!"

"Would you rather I-" Kanda's retort was cut off by Lavi.

"What happened six months ago?"

"Kanda confessed." Allen's response was swift and to the point. And said with a smirk aimed at Kanda.

"Eh?!" Lavi and I freaked out in unison. "Details! Details!"

Kanda glared at us. Allen laughed at him. "Mo-ya-shiiii..."

When Allen finally focused on us, his tone was deadly serious. "No. No details. That memory is precious to me and I'm not going to share it with you."

"But-" Lavi whined.

"No."

Lavi huffed. Then his pout turned to a smirk. "So who's on top?"

I choked on my water. I couldn't believe he would ask that. Sure, I wanted to know, but to ask straight out like that... Allen looked ready to kill Lavi. So did Kanda, but that wasn't anything new. It wasn't surprising that Lavi and his chair tumbled to the floor again. When he righted himself, Mugen was pointed at his throat.

While Kanda threatened some sense into Lavi, I tried to process what I'd learned. As ridiculous as it seemed, Allen and Kanda were a couple. And they were in love. Or at least Kanda was in love. But with everything they'd said and done that morning, Allen must return the feeling. But they said that happened six months ago. And yet they'd been together since Allen joined the Order? Kanda had said it was just sex, but there had to be more to it. I was missing something.

"Umm. I have a question." The bickering between Kanda and Lavi ceased, and Allen took the opportunity to push Kanda back into his seat.

"What is it, Lenalee?" Allen spoke like we hadn't just been making a scene in the middle of a crowded inn.

"Well, I can kind of put together the whole confession part; after all we all almost died that day on the ark. I can understand wanting to confess love after all of that. But what I don't get is how you got together in the first place. How do two people who hate each other as much as you did end up in bed together?"

"I don't know. It just happened. One minute we were beating the crap out of each other, and the next we were making out. After that it just became part of the routine, we'd fight and then fuck each other's brains out." Allen sounded so nonchalant about the whole thing.

It was strange to hear the boy we referred to as 'innocent' talk about sex like it was no big deal. But then I thought that if he truly had spent months engaged in casual sex with someone he hated, then he really did think of it that way. Which brought up an entirely different question. "But if you're really together, how come you still fight all the time?"

Kanda broke the glare that had been keeping Lavi silent and turned his usual 'how stupid can you get' glare at me. "Che. Just because we're together doesn't mean we don't still drive each other crazy."

"Oh. Right."

"But there's more to it than that, isn't there?" Lavi asked.

Allen and Kanda gave Lavi identical looks that said 'Duh.' Allen explained with a shrug. "Fighting all the time gets people to leave us alone."

"And more importantly, it keeps a certain bothersome inspector from finding out." Kanda finished for him.

I didn't understand. "But why do you need to keep it a secret?"

They looked at me like I was a moron. And given what they said next, I felt like one.

"In case you haven't noticed, we're both male." Kanda's sarcasm was lost on me.

It was Lavi's quiet explanation that hit home. "Homosexuality is considered a mortal sin by the Catholic Church. They would literally be executed for it if they got caught."

I stared at Allen and Kanda in horror. Kanda growled murderously, and Allen sighed. Their expressions said that they were prepared to die for their love, but they would fight it every step of the way. It was sort of amazing to see that they loved each other that much. I decided then and there that when we got back home I would be having a long chat with my brother.

Allen broke the silence that had fallen over our table. His gaze had dropped to the table, and he looked terrified. "So... Can we trust you to keep this to yourselves?"

He wasn't just asking us to keep their secret. He was asking if they could count on us to watch their backs like we do on the battlefield, to keep them alive. And my answer was an immediate and emphatic "Of course!"

Lavi had remained silent. I looked at him expectantly. He seemed torn. He sighed and spoke slowly. "As far as Central and the Order are concerned, you can consider your secret safe. But I don't know if this is something I can keep from Bookman."

Kanda's glare remained unchanged, but I think I saw a flicker of that murderous aura from yesterday. Allen looked like a kicked puppy. "Oh. Right. I-I understand."

Lavi sighed and shook his head. "Don't give me that look, Allen-chan. If he thinks it's relevant I won't have a choice. But you don't have to worry. He won't tell anyone either."

The atmosphere was tense. Until Lavi spoke again. He looked smug and he practically sang his words. "You answered my question!"

"Which question was that?" Allen asked warily. I think we were all scared of what Lavi would say next.

"You know which one." He smirked at Allen, and then focused on Kanda. "You let him top you? I'm surprised. Doesn't that go against everything you are?"

I wondered how Lavi had reached that conclusion, wondered how he knew Allen had topped Kanda.

Lavi's chair was kicked out from under him again, but this time he was prepared for it and stood instead of falling. What he was not prepared for, however, was to be facing Allen's black side. One glare had Lavi apologizing repeatedly.

"What? You thought I'd be submissive to all of Kanda's whims? You must not know me very well. He hated me back then, and I never once had to tell him that if he wanted to give it then he'd have to be willing to take it."

Allen was pushed back into his seat by Kanda, who appeared to be trying not to laugh. "Moyashi..."

"My name's Allen, Bakanda!" The reaction was surprising, a sudden reminder that Kanda had been using that nickname all morning without Allen protesting against it.

Allen sighed and leaned back in his chair, his dark side gone. He gave Kanda a look, and Kanda started laughing. That was by far the most surprising thing to happen in the last 24 hours. I had thought seeing Kanda kissing someone would be the strangest thing I'd ever see. Apparently, I was wrong.

.x.x.

After breakfast, we headed to the train station. We found Link there, he was pissed we took so long to catch up with him. He also chewed Allen out for returning to his room late the night before. It was hard to listen to. The knowledge I'd gained at breakfast only made Link's presence in Allen's life more unfair than it already was.

.x.x.

I stormed into Nii-san's office, making a scene as I slammed the door behind me. He had been sleeping, but was startled awake by the noise. He blinked at me expectantly. "I have a question for you, Nii-san."

Komui looked like he was scared of me. If I hadn't had other concerns, I would have wondered if he had built another robot while I was gone. "What is it, Lenalee?"

"I heard something disturbing from Lavi, and I want to know if it's true." For all my anger over the issue, I really had no idea how to ask what I wanted to know. Komui waited patiently for me to continue. "He said that homosexuality is punishable by death. Is that really true? Is it true that someone could be killed just for loving another of the same gender?"

"Why do you want to know about that?!" The panic in his voice made it clear that he thought I was talking about myself.

"Just answer the question, Nii-san!" I slammed my hands down on the edge of his desk. I was too upset to deal with his issues. My friends were a much more pressing concern.

"It's true." He sighed and took off his glasses. "But it's not that black and white. Not where the Order is concerned."

"Explain."

"We're a special branch of the church; the rules don't apply to us in the same way they apply to others." He leaned back in his chair and pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose. "If we're talking about scientists or finders, then it's hard to say. It really would depend on the circumstances and who's involved. But you're asking about a fellow exorcist..."

I stared intently at him as I waited impatiently for him to finish the thought.

"Unless it's someone like Allen-kun, who's already under suspicion, then it's safe to say that the issue would be overlooked."

"And what would happen if it _was_ Allen?" I could barely get the words out. I was terrified of the answer.

Komui's eyes locked with mine as he looked up. They were wide with shock. Nii-san was smart; he didn't need me to tell him that the question wasn't hypothetical. And now he was struggling, much like Lavi and I had, to grasp the idea that Allen was gay. When he finally spoke, his voice was shaky. "Who?"

I knew what he meant, but I couldn't bring myself to say the name. "Who's the last person you'd ever suspect of saying out loud that he's in love with Allen?"

Komui seemed confused by the question, but he remained silent and pondered the answer. His eyes widened once again when it clicked, and he stood up so fast his chair nearly fell over. "Kanda?! Kanda and Allen slept together?!"

"Nii-san! You're being too loud!" I hissed, not bothering to point out that he had jumped to conclusions because they were right.

He laughed a little as he sat back down. "Somehow that makes perfect sense." After a slight pause, he spoke again. "What's the status of their relationship?"

"Nii-san! This isn't what I came to talk to you about!" Komui was just as bad as Lavi!

He shook his head then gave me his serious stare. "It's important. Your answer to my question changes my answer to your question."

"Meaning?" Komui gave me a look, so I elaborated before he could interrupt. "I promised them that I would keep this a secret. I need you to explain better before I can decide if I can tell you."

"You've already given them away." He pouted then sighed. "But I see your point. Basically, how much trouble they're in depends on what their relationship is like. If they're actually together is going to have a different consequence than if they're just messing around."

I wanted him to continue, but I could see that he had nothing more to say until I gave him the rest of the story. "They're together."

Komui gave a pointed look at my reluctant answer, and waited for me to continue. "They confessed love six months ago. And I know they're sleeping together."

"And how do you know that?! Did you see them-?"

"They told me!" I did not have enough patience to deal with Komui's worries about my purity. "The only thing I saw was a very intense make out session. And Kanda nearly killed us just for that. I don't want to know what he would have done if we'd seen more than that. Can we get back on topic now?"

I waited on pins and needles while Nii-san collected himself. "I don't want to get your hopes up, but they'll probably be fine. So long as they're discreet. But I can't see either of them enjoying public displays, so that's a bit of a moot point. The trick is going to be to get everyone used to the idea..."

He drifted off, but I could tell he wasn't done. I had relaxed knowing that Komui thought they'd be ok, but I was still anxious over what came next. When he began talking again, he almost sounded excited. "The first thing to do is adjust the mission schedule. I'll need to be sneaky to not arouse suspicion... I know! I'll call it an experiment! I'll say that I'm trying to see if having Allen and Kanda do all of their missions together will make them get along better."

That had to be one of the most psychotic things I'd ever heard my brother say. "I know you're trying to help, but all that's going to do is piss the two of them off."

He didn't hear me. He was too far into his plan. I backed away. Maybe if I escaped now I could deny my involvement. Things were about to get very scary at the Order...


	2. Story 2 - Silent Moments

Story 2: "Silent Moments"

Summary: Kanda and Allen spend the night in an inn after an exhausting mission. There's one major problem though: there's only one bed.

Contains a Yullen Lemon.

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

It was late when we arrived at the inn and they only had one vacant room. Sharing a room with Kanda was far from ideal, but at least we'd have beds. I was tired of camping out. With Kanda. In the rain.

That mission was awful, especially when you added in the akuma and half a dozen dead finders. Fortunately, we collected the rain-causing Innocence, so the trek back was a little better, but the dense forest was still a problem. Add in the whole "I'm in love with a complete asshole who hates my guts" thing that I've got going with Kanda, and I was just miserable.

Even if we'd have to share a room, we'd at least be inside. And be able to shower. And we'd survived sharing a room before, so I could at least find peace in knowing he wouldn't kill me in my sleep.

Kanda was the first to the room, and he immediately sprawled out on the large bed like he owned it. I froze in the doorway. _The_ bed. As in only one. I could NOT share a bed with Kanda. He absolutely _would_ kill me. And not just because he hates me. No, if we shared a bed he'd find out about a certain problem I have. Because if we shared a bed, no amount of distraction and positive thinking techniques would be able to stop the erection I'd get from being so close to him. And then he'd kill me for being a creep and a pervert. So we absolutely could not share a bed. But dear God did I want to.

I surveyed the room, my eyes landing on a small couch. It looked far from comfortable, but at least it was there. And it certainly beat getting killed in the middle of the night by my crush.

.x.x.

I watched the Moyashi as he made his way over to the couch. He seemed to be in a daze. "What do you think you're doing, Moyashi?"

"My name's Allen, Bakanda! How many times are you going to make me say that before you get it through your thick skull?" After the outburst, he looked nervously between me and the couch. "Ah. Umm... I guess I'll sleep on the couch then? Since we clearly can't sleep in the same bed?"

"Che. We've shared a room before, Moyashi. We can share a bed without killing each other." Not killing him wasn't really the issue. No, the problem was keeping myself from jumping him. Especially when he looked so adorably confused.

"But..."

"If you really want to sleep on that awful couch... Instead of a bed... After a week outside. Then by all means, go for it." I don't know why I kept insisting he join me on the bed. If things kept up like this, I was going to end up raping him. "Just don't expect me to put up with any complaints about your sore ass tomorrow."

He looked like a lost puppy, trying to choose between comfort and safety. His silver eyes were filled with fear, and while a small part of me felt bad that he was afraid of me, the look was one that made me want to jump him. I escaped to the bathroom before my body could betray me.

.x.x.

I took my turn in the shower once Kanda was done with his exceptionally long one. I didn't say anything about it though, chalking it up to him needing to wash his hair, it did have a week's worth of forest gunk in it after all. And I was all for the hair washing, even if the result was pure torture. He walked into the room with his long navy hair down, dripping wet, and smelling of some exotic flower that I couldn't identify. I did my best to keep from drooling as I left, but he gave me a look that asked why I was being weird.

.x.x.

The Moyashi was being weird. Or weirder than normal anyway. I wondered why. And then immediately berated myself. My obsession with the white haired boy was getting to me. It was bad enough that I wanted him sexually. The knowledge that somewhere along the line I had developed feelings for the brat unnerved me. Caring about others caused nothing but pain, and love made people do stupid things. Yet I'd gone and fallen in love with Allen Walker.

The whole thing was moronic and a hit to my pride. Which is why I would never act on my feelings. The Moyashi would never know that I got butterflies in my stomach in those rare moments when he showed his genuine smile. Or that I wanted to hurt those waitresses and shopkeepers who flirted with him. Or that I got sick to my stomach whenever he was late returning from a mission. Or that I was secretly plotting Howard Link's murder - not that me planning a murder was anything new, but the reasons behind it certainly were.

This whole mission had been a disaster, but at least the Moyashi's stalker had stayed at headquarters. Because the only one who would be hurt by the blond's mysterious disappearance would be the Moyashi. And while I had no qualms about hurting the brat, that was not a type of pain that I was willing to inflict on him.

I was snapped out of my musings when the Moyashi returned from the bathroom. And the sight of a freshly showered Moyashi was what I loved most about sharing a room with him. It was somehow worth all the extra fighting I had to put up with.

He gave me a look I didn't understand. "What?"

"Nothing. I was just hoping you'd be asleep already." He looked away, and I thought I caught the faint tinge of a blush on his cheeks.

"So I wouldn't notice that you chickened out and slept on the couch? Baka." I really don't know why I was so adamant that we share the bed, nothing good could ever come of it. And despite what I said earlier, I was starting to doubt that we'd both live through the night. It was getting harder to resist jumping him, and he'd certainly kill me for doing that.

But I had challenged him, and he couldn't back down. Well technically, he could. He could surprise me by letting me get away with insulting him. But in the year I'd known him, he never had before. It was part of why I fell in love with him.

Newcomers would always try to "set me straight" on my pessimistic views, but they'd always back down when Mugen came out. Even Teidoll, who claimed to be my father, chose to ignore me when I got pissed off. And pissed off was my natural state of being. Arguments and fights were how I kept people away from me, kept from forming relationships that would only end in disaster. And everyone caved to my antisocial whims. Then Allen came along. And he didn't back down. He fought back. Every. Single. Time. Even when he was emotionally distraught over something as ridiculous as a broken doll. In retrospect, it was obvious from our first fight in the cafeteria that he would break me. I'd found him attractive from the beginning, and he was the first person in a long time to stand up to me. And he _had_ broken me. And he was still breaking me. It wasn't just him that I had started to care for. But as long as he didn't know about my feelings, I could act like nothing had changed.

Which is why sharing a bed was a bad idea. But I was going to make him do it anyway. Because no matter how stupid it was, I wanted to. I wanted to know what it was like to share a bed with that brat, even if I wouldn't be able to enjoy it fully.

.x.x.

I didn't want to sleep in the same bed as Kanda. It was just a reminder that I'd never be able to _sleep_ with Kanda. Being gay was a mortal sin after all. And he might not have cared about rules in the slightest, but there was no way that I ever crossed his mind like that. In fact, I was sure that the church would never get the chance to punish me: if my crush ever got out, Kanda would kill me before they could even figure out what happened.

There was also the problem that the guy was now shirtless. And his hair was still down. And he was awake.

I had hoped he'd go to sleep while I showered. But like always he seemed to be able to see right through me. He seemed to know that I had been planning to ignore him. I was stuck in a lose-lose situation. The only way out was to suck it up and do what the bastard wanted me to do. Because there would be hell to pay if I didn't.

So I went over to the bed. I tried to act like nothing was wrong, I tried to act like I was mad at him for beating me. I slid under the covers as quickly as I could, and then turned away from him.

I couldn't see him anymore, but I knew he was still watching me. Still lounging on his side with his beautiful hair splayed over his bare chest. And dear god he smelled even better up close. This was going to be a long and sleepless night.

.x.x.

Something was seriously wrong with the Moyashi. He'd done what I wanted, what I'd expected; he'd climbed in bed, pouting and glaring the whole time. But he hadn't yelled, he hadn't argued with me over bed space or the covers. Instead, he just rolled over and went straight to sleep.

I stared at him, as if watching him sleep would reveal all of his mysteries to me when it never had before. Only I realized pretty quickly that he _wasn't_ asleep. He was just pretending. And that sent up even more red flags- he only did that when he was hiding that he was sick or injured; and just because I hadn't seen him get hurt doesn't mean it didn't happen.

"Moyashi." I hoped that my concern wasn't audible in my voice. He didn't respond.

I called out five more times before he finally snapped. "The name's Allen, Bakanda! What the hell do you want?"

He turned to glare at me and I met his stare. "I want to know what's wrong with you."

There was a brief flash of something warm in his eyes before he huffed and turned away again. "There's nothing wrong with me, Bakanda. Now stop being a moron and let me sleep."

I was too taken aback by what I saw to respond to the childish insult. It was an emotion I hadn't expected to see. I thought, hell, the whole Order thought Allen and Lenalee were together. That's part of why I'd never done anything about my feelings before, because I had thought they were unrequited. I had thought that my love loved someone else. But what I just saw contradicted all that. What I just saw said that it was _me_ he wanted to be with.

But was that actually true, or was it just wishful thinking on my part? And if it was true, would it even make a difference? Even if the Moyashi liked me, if he was with Lenalee then nothing could happen. He wouldn't cheat on her, and he was too hung up on the rules and etiquette and such to break up with a girl in order to be with a guy. However... I knew he tended to lie about his feelings. If he knew he was gay, would he have pursued a girl just for the sake of appearances? I doubted that. Which made me wonder if he was really with her.

The questions would keep me up all night. Especially when the boy causing them was only two feet away. In the same bed. I was scared to put my feelings out there, but I no longer had a choice. Especially with that look in his eyes burned into my brain. It wasn't helping me bury the urge to jump him.

I don't know how much time had passed, but one glance at the Moyashi's back told me that he was still awake. "Moyashi."

This time he turned over immediately, anger blazing in his eyes. "What?!"

Sucking it up, I leaned in and kissed him.

.x.x.

Oh dear lord Kanda was kissing me. I froze. Completely. It had to be some kind of trick. I wanted it too badly for it to be real. He had to be messing with me.

He pulled away when he realized I wasn't reacting. I don't know what I expected him to say, but it certainly wasn't that barely audible, "Sorry."

He looked so sad, or at least as sad as someone as emotionally repressed as he was could look. Almost heartbroken. And suddenly it clicked. And I closed the distance between us in a heartbeat.

Our lips locked. The kiss was simultaneously exactly how I imagined it would be and nothing like it. It was raw and harsh, filled with a deep passion I didn't know Kanda could feel.

.x.x.

I was wrong. The Moyashi didn't want what I had just done. I didn't expect my heart to hurt that badly. I pulled away from him, almost scared of what would happen next. The Moyashi's face was completely blank; there was no trace of any emotion. And then he was kissing me. It only took a second to realize that I had judged the situation too quickly; I had simply caught him off guard.

And damn that kiss was perfect. Or rather, that moment was perfect. The kiss itself wasn't that great. It was too rough, too forced, and just plain awkward. But it was us. And it said everything we had left unsaid for so long. And above everything else it said, 'I love you and I'm tired of hiding it.'

It was all I needed to quell my doubts. Especially when his first words after it were, "If I'm dreaming don't wake me up."

"You dream about kissing me, Moyashi?" I had to tease him; the opening was too perfect.

He blushed, and it was beautiful. Then he laughed. "Bakanda. Of course I do."

I couldn't think of a reply to that, so I kissed him again. When we broke apart, his face was flushed and we were gasping for breath. "You're not dreaming, Moyashi."

"I know." The smile that he gave me was small, but it was genuine, and that made it all the more beautiful.

.x.x.

Kanda loved me. Sure, he hadn't said it out loud, but his actions spoke for him. The next day I would feel stupid for not noticing it earlier, but in that moment all I could think of was how deliriously happy I was to finally be with him.

I wanted answers from him, but those could wait. There was something I needed more.

As our lips met once again, I threaded my fingers into his hair. The navy strands felt as soft and silky as I imagined they would, and I relished in the feeling of the strands between my fingers. Kanda's hands had found their way under my shirt, and his fingers brushing against my bare skin left electric tingles behind.

I was caught completely off guard when, in one swift motion, he pushed me away and yanked my shirt over my head. Before I could process what had happened, he was on top of me, biting and sucking on my neck, his hands pinning mine above my head. The pleasure coursing through my body made me moan, and thinking was becoming more difficult.

Kanda left several hickeys behind as he worked his way across my chest. I didn't particularly want the marks, but the feeling was so good that I didn't care. So when I finally got my hands free I didn't push him away, instead I worked on his pants, our bodies close enough for me to tell that he was even harder than I was.

.x.x.

I was so caught up in marking my Moyashi, and listening to him moan under my touch, that I didn't notice what his hands were doing. Until my pants were pushed off my hips and my erection was freed. I levered myself up on my elbows so that I could glare at him, and he blinked innocently at me. "What's wrong Yuu?"

Allen just used my first name. I gaped at him, completely forgetting what I was about to say. He took advantage of my momentary lapse and flipped us over. Realizing I was now underneath him, I narrowed my eyes at him and growled. "What do you think you're doing, Moyashi?"

He laughed and leaned back so he was kneeling over me. "That's not how it works, Yuu. If you want me, and I know you do," he said with a pointed look at my exposed erection, "then you'll have to use my real name."

"Moyashi." I growled threateningly at him. I didn't particularly object to using his name, but I was not going to give in to his demands.

However, that brat was just as stubborn as I was.

"That's not it, Bakanda." He slid backwards off the bed, taking my pants with him. He stood at the foot of the bed, arms crossed in front of his skinny chest, my pants in one hand, and his eyes narrowed at me.

.x.x.

I don't know what I was thinking. I had just told Kanda that he couldn't have sex with me unless he stopped using that ridiculous nickname. And he would never do that. I wanted to kick myself.

At least he couldn't see my erection. He'd know I was bluffing if he saw that.

I don't know how long we stayed like that, staring each other down. The air around us grew tense, but it wasn't angry, it was sexual. We were going to finish what we started; there was no doubt about that.

.x.x.

I caved first. The sight in front of me was just too erotic. The Moyashi was just too attractive. He was still breathing heavily from our earlier activities, his chest was marked with hickeys, and his white hair was in complete disarray. And after months of wondering, I finally knew that he returned my feelings. I was not going to let something as stupid as his name come between us.

I climbed off the bed and stood in front of him. "You don't have to be so drastic, Moyashi."

So much for making things better, that nickname was just so much easier to say. I hurried to explain before he could freak out. "It's a habit; it's going to take me some time to break it. But I will try, Allen."

He stared at me like I had grown another head. Apparently, he hadn't actually expected me to say it. I was never going to understand that boy, it was probably best to stop trying.

I leaned in and kissed him. He dropped my pants to the floor in favor of playing with my hair. If he kept that up, I wasn't going to last much longer. It wasn't fair. He had already found my weakness, and I was clueless as to his.

It also wasn't fair that he still had clothes on. But that was easy to fix. I grabbed the waistband and pulled his pants and boxers down in one swift jerk. I felt rather than heard him protest, our kiss was too intense for him to actually form words.

The Moyashi had too much control. I pulled his hands from my hair and shoved him toward the bed. As I took in the sight of him sprawled half on and half off the bed, I was once again surprised by him. The little liar was completely erect. He was also bigger than I expected him to be, but that was beside the point. He had made me believe that he had more control than me. And he would pay for that.

I approached him, but he slid away from me. I watched as he went over to his suitcase and began to root around inside it. It was really hard to concentrate with my Moyashi bent over in front of me, with his ass in the air, completely naked. "What the fuck are you up to now?"

He spun around, grinning triumphantly as he held up a glass bottle. "Found it!"

"Found what?" I was suddenly worried.

He walked passed me and flopped onto his back on the bed, holding the bottle out to me. I climbed onto the bed at his beckoning, my knees straddling his hips. Tentatively I took the bottle from him. It had a small amount of golden yellow oil in it. I now knew exactly what he meant by retrieving it, but it brought up a different question. "Mo-ya-shiii. Why do you have this?"

He laughed. "Relax, Bakanda. It's just what's left of the cooking oil. I wasn't planning on doing anything perverted with it." His grin turned into a devious smirk. "Until just now that is."

I narrowed my eyes at him, wondering what he was up to. But then his smirk melted into a content smile, and his body relaxed in a way that said I was free to do whatever I wanted to him.

The first step would be to kill his control.

.x.x.

The look on Kanda's face said that he trusted me as far as he could throw me. And to be fair I probably deserved it, pulling a bottle of oil out of nowhere like that.

I sat up as he slipped off the bed, watching as he moved about the room. That body that I'd dreamed of seeing naked for so long was on display in front of me. And I got a little lost in tracing the curves of his toned muscles. I forgot to pay attention to what he was doing.

That's probably how I ended up with my hands tied to the headboard.

One minute I was practically drooling while watching him pick something up off the floor, and the next he was on top of me, grinding our hips together, while he tied my hands above my head. And I was too far gone in my pleasure to even think about protesting.

Kanda smirked as he pulled away from me. "There, now you have to stop toying with me."

"'Toying with you'?" I blinked, confused at his word choice.

He growled at me. "Yes, _toying_. You do not get to be in control, _Moyashi_."

I blinked again. When had _I_ been in control? "What on earth are you talking about, Yuu? I- nnnghh!"

I was cut off when he started kissing my neck. The heat I felt was becoming unbearable, and I gave into the moans as he worked his way down my chest.

I was gasping for breath when he finally stopped kissing me. He didn't give me a break though, and licked my length. I nearly lost it on the spot. "Yuu, I-I'm..."

He let go of me immediately. "Really? Already? You're that easy?" He eyed me curiously, as I struggled to form words. "No, that's not it. You're a virgin."

He laughed in what seemed to be relief. "And here I was thinking you were more experienced than me, Moyashi." The laughter turned into a devious smirk. "Are you even prepared for what comes next?"

"Of course." I laughed, or tried to, I was a little out of it and it came out kind of muddled. But I know the smirk afterwards got across. "I did fetch the oil after all."

Kanda's devious smirk only grew as he once again brought his mouth towards my member.

.x.x.

Allen was giving me his virginity. Somehow, that made me want him even more, knowing that I was the first to touch that pale skin.

But better yet, I had found one of his weaknesses now that he was no longer playing with my hair and causing my blood to boil. It was rather obvious in retrospect. I dreamed of him doing it to me, so of course he dreamed of me doing it to him.

So I took him in my mouth. I licked and sucked on his shaft, not really paying attention to what I was doing: I was focused on my Moyashi's face, watching his skin flush and his eyes glaze over as I brought him to the edge.

It didn't take long at all before he was moaning that he was close. I debated denying him release, but I decided I didn't want to be that mean. Not during our first time anyway- there would be plenty of time for that on another day.

.x.x.

I came in Kanda's mouth, too far blissed out to catch his reaction or even wonder why he had let me. Eventually my vision returned and my breathing regained a somewhat normal pace. Kanda was kneeling between my spread legs, just watching me.

When he noticed my gaze, he smirked. "Finally ready, Moyashi?"

I contemplated the smirk, confused by what I needed to be ready for. Then I noticed that he held the empty oil bottle in one hand. It clicked just seconds before Kanda shoved a slick finger into my hole.

Something else clicked in that moment, as his finger moved around inside me. Something I'd been seeing in his eyes for several months that finally made sense: he was going to take me whether or not I wanted him to. He wanted me so badly that he had been willing to rape me.

Not that it mattered, given that we were currently in the middle of sex, but I didn't exactly have the brain power to process that. Especially once a second finger was pushed inside me. After that, all I could think about were the long, slim digits as they scissored and stretched me. They caused so much pain, but the pleasure coursing through me somehow made it worth it.

After what seemed like forever, Kanda finally did something different. But it wasn't what I had expected. He added a third finger. Why was Kanda going so slow? How did _Kanda_ , of all people, have the patience to stretch me properly?

I certainly didn't. I bucked my hips, trying to get more from him. "Hurry up, Bakanda."

He laughed briefly, and did nothing but wiggle his fingers around more. And then everything went white. I cried out as a wave of pleasure washed over me.

The feeling was replaced with one of emptiness as I felt him pull his fingers out. The disappointment faded quickly though when he began to press his cock into me.

As he thrust into me, all I was aware of was pain. I clenched my eyes shut and grit my teeth. I had known this would hurt. And I knew it would fade. I just had to relax. Breathe deeply. And calm down.

"Don't cry, Moyashi." The whisper was soft and near my ear. I felt something warm and wet on my face. I opened my eyes to see Kanda licking away the tears that were gathering in the corner of my eye.

I exhaled slowly as I stared into his cobalt eyes. His gaze was calm, and I felt my body relax as I focused on him, Kanda, the man I loved.

"You can move now."

He didn't need me to tell him twice.

.x.x.

My Moyashi moaned and groaned, and met my every thrust. I was finally making him mine, and it was heaven.

And then I felt his hands in my hair. The slippery little bastard had somehow managed to get them free. My concentration was shot. Fortunately, that was when I finally hit his prostate. He cried out, and the sound was delicious.

A few more thrusts and I couldn't take anymore. His cries, the feeling of his fingers on my scalp, combined with the tight heat surrounding my throbbing shaft, it was all too much. I came before he did. But only by a few seconds. I released into Allen as his walls spasmed around my length.

.x.x.

As I came down from my orgasm, I felt Kanda pull out of me. He collapsed beside me on the bed, and I expected that to be it for the night. I was rather surprised when he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, pressing my back into his chest and placing his chin on my shoulder.

We lay like that for some time, completely relaxed, until our breathing steadied. I broke the silence first. "Now what?"

"Now we go to sleep, Baka Moyashi." His voice was huskier than usual, and it really made the idea of sleep sound good.

"That's... not what I meant, Bakanda." I rolled my eyes at him, but I couldn't bring myself to say what I really meant.

But he apparently knew what I was getting at. His whisper in my ear was the best thing I'd ever heard. "You're mine now. You're stuck with me until I get bored of you. And that's never going to happen, Aren."

The way his slight accent muddled my name made it all the more perfect. I twisted in his arms so that we were face to face. Then I kissed him.

He shoved me away roughly, but was speaking before I could protest. "Go clean yourself up, Moyashi. I doubt you want to wake up covered in dried semen."

Laughing lightly, I followed his suggestion. I sat up and immediately winced in pain. The muscles in my lower back burned. There was also the strange feeling of fluid trickling out of my ass. And I knew without looking that some of it was my blood.

"Go shower again. The warm water will relax your muscles and make you feel better." _Did Kanda just say something helpful?_ I looked over my shoulder and narrowed my eyes at him. He smirked as he leaned in closer to me. "Or _I_ could help you with it."

I squeaked as his fingers made contact with the skin of my lower back. Then he began massaging the sore area. It felt so good... But it felt like a trap. And I scrambled away the second I realized what he was really up to: the second I felt myself start to get hard. I escaped to the bathroom without looking back.

.x.x.

I forced myself to clean up the bed while my Moyashi was in the shower. I didn't want to move, but I wanted to sleep on soiled sheets even less. Especially when some of that mess was the Moyashi's blood. There wasn't much of it, just a couple small spots, but it was still gross. It would have been much worse if I hadn't found the patience to prepare him.

I pulled the blanket onto the remade bed and crawled under it, not bothering to locate my pants. I yawned, hoping my Moyashi would return before I fell asleep. Because even after everything that had just happened, I wouldn't put it past him to try to sleep on the couch.

.x.x.

.x.x.

I woke up in Kanda's arms. Which surprised me. I didn't think Kanda would be the cuddling type. But I knew from last night that he was possessive. And that he thought of me as his. So that's probably where the cuddling came from.

"You're finally awake." He sounded like he was half asleep.

I wanted to turn around and see the look on his face, but I was too comfortable to move. "Yes."

"You slept on the bed."

I blinked at the half-whispered statement. "I did."

He tightened his hold on me. "I thought you might have... not come back."

Kanda was definitely still half asleep. He was too emotive to be awake. If he was awake, he would have never let me know that he'd been scared I would leave him. I didn't know what to do with that knowledge, so I laughed at him. "Of course I came back. Why would I have gone somewhere else when you were here?"

I felt him move, so I rolled over to look at him. He wasn't smiling, but his usual scowl was gone. Kanda actually looked happy. And I knew it was because of me. He pulled me in for a kiss.

"I love you."

I blushed. Kanda blinked. Then we both started laughing. We had said the words at the same time.

I'm not sure why it was funny, hearing Kanda say the words I'd been wanting to hear him say. Maybe it was because I thought he'd never actually say them. Though he had done a lot of things in the past 24 hours that I'd never expected. He'd said my name. Twice.

So maybe it was just relief. Because as much as I hated to admit it, I too had been scared that last night was a fluke. That he'd go back to hating me in the cold light of day.

But there we were. Together. Laughing in relief at knowing, with certainty, that the feelings we shared were mutual.

Kanda spoke first. "See, I told you we could share a bed without killing each other."

I laughed. "True, but I still ended up with a sore ass."


	3. Story 3 - Ragged Nights

Story 3: "Ragged Nights"

Summary: The fighting between Kanda and Allen has gotten so bad that it's time for the others to intervene. And you know what that means: locking the pair in a room together.

Contains an Arekan Lemon.

A/N: I envision this as being the sequel to Story 2 - "Silent Moments".

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

In the past six months, things had gone from bad to worse between Allen and Kanda. The fighting between the pair was no longer cute and amusing. Everyone was afraid that they actually were going to kill each other. It seemed like a miracle that neither had ended up in the infirmary yet. A few finders had ended up with relatively minor wounds, but that was because they had been stupid enough to try to intervene.

If they were both at headquarters, it was guaranteed that they'd be pointing their weapons at each other before the day was half over, and that the air would be thick with insults the entire time. It was just as bad when they were apart too. Kanda would fly into a rage at the mere mention of Allen, while Allen no longer had anything nice to say about the samurai, and took to pairing his name with curse words.

The two in question were currently on the couch in Komui's office, along with Lavi, while the purple haired man briefed them on their next mission. Not that they were listening to him. No, they were focused on each other, with death glares so intense that Lavi wished that he hadn't decided to sit between them.

Then the bickering started. Lavi bolted off the couch to an empty chair. Komui stopped talking. The two couldn't even make it through a mission briefing without fighting. The Chinese man was done putting up with their antics.

"That's enough!" Komui slammed his hands down on his desk so hard that a pile of books and files fell to the floor.

The pair ceased fighting immediately. Allen hung his head in shame, his white bangs obscuring his face. The British teen was fully aware that they had crossed a line. Kanda, on the other hand, merely crossed his arms across his chest and glared sullenly at the wall. The angry Japanese teen would never admit that he'd done something wrong.

Komui cleared his throat. "Listen closely you two, because I'm only going to say this once. It's high time you learned to get along. I don't care how much you hate each other; you need to put aside your differences. If you can't... Then I'm going to have to separate you."

You could have heard a pin drop in the next room. The usually jovial supervisor was dead serious. "I don't want to do this, but you've gotten out of control. If you can't figure out how to be in a room together without fighting, I'll be forced to reassign one or both of you to a different branch."

Allen was close to tears, like he wasn't used to getting in trouble. Kanda looked angry, but the samurai always looked angry, so it was hard to tell what he was thinking. Lavi felt like laughing, but he had the sense to remain silent. He knew there was tension between the two, but he thought the supervisor was being a little extreme. But maybe scare tactics were what the Chinese man was going for.

Komui sighed and sank back into his chair. "Now, you've got a mission to attend to. Go."

Kanda stormed out of the office immediately. Allen smiled apologetically before he left too. Lavi leaned back in his chair and spoke to Komui. "You're insane. You know that, right?"

.x.x.

The mission lasted a week. All three boys were exhausted when they returned home. Allen headed straight for the cafeteria while Kanda went to meditate. Lavi wanted to go to his room and sleep, but he had more pressing matters to attend to.

He entered Komui's office without knocking. Lenalee was there having tea with her brother. They were startled by the sudden appearance of the redhead, but he didn't care that he was interrupting. Lavi sprawled out on the couch, grinning like a madman. "Want the good news or the really good news?"

"And what, pray tell, are you talking about?" Komui narrowed his eyes at the Bookman apprentice, he did not appreciate having his sister time interrupted.

"I know what's going on with Yuu-chan and Allen-chan~!" Lavi had the Lee siblings' complete attention. They were both frozen speechless, tea spilling from Komui's cup onto his paperwork covered desk.

"I spent the last week watching them try to get along. All that built up tension between them? It's sexual in nature." Lavi laughed at their blank faces.

"So you're saying that Kanda and Allen are ... attracted to each other?" Lenalee laughed in disbelief. "That's ridiculous."

"You wouldn't be saying that if you knew just how many times I saw Kanda check out Allen's ass this week." Lavi shuddered at the memory. It was only three times, not many at all, but that was still three more times than Lavi ever would have expected.

Komui cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses. "How is that good news?"

"That's simple." Lavi shrugged. "We get them to admit their feelings and they'll stop fighting."

Lenalee burst out laughing at that. "And how do you propose getting them to do that? It's not like we can just lock them in a room together!"

"And what's wrong with that?!" Lavi grumbled.

"Alright, settle down." Komui finally righted his now empty tea cup. "We can call that plan B. In the meantime, have either of you tried _talking_ to them about it?"

Lavi gave a pointed look at Lenalee. "What?"

"You're close to Allen; the rumor was that you and he were..." The redhead cleared his throat after a nervous glance at Komui. "Anyway, if he's into Kanda then that's clearly not true. Which must mean that he's confiding in you. So..." He looked at the green haired girl expectantly.

She stared at both of them for a long while. Then she finally sighed. "All I know is that he's gay. That's all I could get out of him. He's too scared to tell me anything more."

"Scared of what?" Lavi blinked in confusion.

"Of Central." Komui answered after a glance at Lenalee.

She nodded in agreement. "Allen's already on thin ice with them. He thinks that this is something they'd use to send him away." She sighed wearily. "I know it's not, but he won't believe me."

The room fell silent as they tried to process what Lenalee had said. Lavi was the first to break it. "So talking to Allen isn't going to do any good. Anyone fancy talking to Kanda?"

The suggestion was met with complete silence. He grinned devilishly at the siblings. "So does that mean I can go ahead with my plan?"

.x.x.

It ended up being really easy to lock Allen and Kanda in a room together.

Lenalee asked Allen nicely to meet her there and he went without suspecting anything. Until the door burst open, and Lavi and Kanda came rushing in. Lavi had stolen Mugen while the samurai was meditating, and the blue haired teen had chased him all the way to the designated room.

Kanda stopped in his tracks when he saw Allen. Lavi took advantage of the still moment to escape. The very audible click of the door locking behind him had both exorcists banging on the door. "What the fuck, Lavi?!"

"You're locked in."

"I noticed that, Baka Usagi!" Kanda tried to kick the door down, but it didn't budge. "Now let me out!"

"Nope~! Not until morning. And only if you've talked." Lavi hoped this worked. If it didn't he was dead.

"Talked? About what?" Allen spoke at the same time as Kanda.

"And what's stopping us from breaking the door down?"

"Sir Koumlin the ... Fifteenth or something like that." The imprisoned teens froze in horror. "It's set to stop you from leaving the room."

There wasn't really a robot, thankfully, but it was a very convincing lie to keep Allen and Kanda locked up. "And you know exactly what it is you need to talk about."

Lavi ran at full speed to the room where Lenalee and Komui were waiting. He did not want to miss a second of what was about to happen. He was gasping for breath when he sank into an empty chair in front of the screen Komui had set up.

Giving up on trying to get out, Kanda moved to the bed in the corner of the room and sat down. Allen slid down the door to sit on the floor. He sighed and looked up at the ceiling.

After about half an hour of silence, long enough to make sure no one was outside (and drive the three watching in the other room crazy), Allen spoke. "Well we screwed that up, eh?"

"Che." Kanda stood up. "And how do you figure that, Moyashi?"

"The name's Allen, Bakanda." There was no bite to the insult. Then he laughed. "We went a little overboard with the 'pretending nothing's different' bit."

Kanda smirked as he helped Allen up off the floor. "I'm afraid I don't know what you mean, Moyashi."

Allen hit him playfully in the shoulder. "You do too, Yuu." The watchers gasped at Allen's use of Kanda's first name. "It's just so damn hard to act like I still hate you, Yuu. I must have-"

Allen's sentence was cut off with a moan as Kanda's hands cupped his ass. He narrowed his eyes at the blue haired teen. "Couldn't you have waited till I was done talking before you started groping me, Yuu?"

"Nope." The watchers were frozen in shock as Kanda started kissing Allen, his hands sliding into the boy's pants.

Allen placed his hands on Kanda's shoulders and pushed him away. Kanda growled at the action. "Calm down a second, Yuu."

Kanda glared fiercely as Allen reached behind himself and pulled the samurai's hands out of his pants. "Mo-ya-shii..."

"Relax, Bakanda. We'll get there." Allen walked away and began searching around the room for something. Lenalee glanced nervously at Lavi, wondering if he hid the camera well enough.

"Then what's the hold up?" Kanda demanded, coming up behind Allen.

Allen paused his search to roll his eyes at Kanda. " _Lavi_ locked us in here."

"So?"

The British teen rolled his eyes again and went back to what he was doing. " _So..._ he probably hid a recording device somewhere."

"Fuck!" Kanda joined him in a panic, his method of searching a lot less careful than Allen's.

Two of the three in the other room watched in horror as it took the two teens less than two minutes to find and smash the camera. But Komui had a hunch that Lavi's camera would be found, and had secretly hidden a second one in the room.

.x.x.

Satisfied that they were no longer being spied on, Kanda once again began trying to make out with Allen. Only to have the younger push him away once again.

"What _now_ , Moyashi?" The petulant growl was Kanda's personal version of a whine.

Allen blushed and fiddled with his sleeves. "Er... We're in a strange room... The lube's in my bedroom... You don't suppose Lavi left us any..."

"It's in my coat pocket." Kanda stated calmly, pulling Allen back into his grasp.

"What?! Why?!"

Kanda snorted. "We've been on a mission with the Usagi for the past week. I wanted to be prepared to jump you the first chance I got."

Kanda didn't give Allen a chance to react. He captured the boy's lips in a passionate kiss. As the kisses grew in intensity, they started undressing each other. Kanda's long fingers slowly unbuttoned Allen's shirt, careful not to pop off any buttons, solely to avoid pissing the British teen off. Experience had taught him to not destroy the Moyashi's clothes.

The kisses didn't stop until all their clothes were on the floor. They broke apart to root through the fabric. It was Allen who found Kanda's jacket and retrieved the small bottle of oil they used for lube, commenting that it would have been easier if they had collected it before they started.

They moved to the bed, setting the lube on the side table. Kanda threw Allen down on his back and pounced on the smaller teen. After several minutes of the samurai teasing and playing with his chest, Allen finally found his voice. "It's my turn to top, Bakanda."

Kanda groaned as he finished marking the boy's collarbone with a hickey. "I was hoping you'd forgotten that."

He complained, but the samurai rolled over onto his back and let Allen take control. Being under that bean sprout was preferable to not having him at all, which was what the boy would do if he really tried to fight him off.

Allen nudged Kanda's legs apart and knelt between them. He leaned over and went straight for the samurai's weak spot, tracing his tongue along the grooves of Kanda's abs. Allen knew it was working when Kanda began to make that sound that the samurai would later deny was a whimper, his fingers tangling in Allen's hair.

Allen retrieved the bottle of oil without stopping his ministrations. Slicking his fingers and tossing the bottle aside, he never once lifted his tongue from Kanda's skin. Without bothering to give Kanda warning or even ask if he was ready, Allen shoved two of his fingers inside Kanda's hole.

He wriggled the digits, quickly stretching Kanda enough to add a third finger. From there he let experience guide him to the bundle of nerves that would make Kanda call out his first name and moan for more. Allen allowed himself to enjoy the noises for only for a few seconds before he withdrew his fingers and positioned himself at the prepared entrance.

Kanda cried out when Allen buried his shaft inside him. Allen didn't move for a moment, but Kanda knew that it was because the teen was trying to collect himself and not come on the spot, rather than because he was waiting for Kanda to be ready, because he knew that Allen didn't particularly care about that.

When Allen was ready, he started thrusting, soon finding that rhythm that Kanda enjoyed. And once again, he let experience lead him to Kanda's prostate. Allen repeatedly thrust into the spot until Kanda couldn't take anymore. Kanda screaming out Allen's name as he came, with the teen following him almost immediately.

Having achieved release, the teens curled up together under the blankets and fell asleep in each other's arms. Mumbled "I love you's" were the last thing either heard.

.x.x.

After quite a bit of tinkering, Komui finally got the second recorder working. The sound came through first, and the three got an earful of moaning and heavy breathing, making them all think that the recorder was still broken. Those were not sounds that belonged to Allen or Kanda.

That thought passed quickly though when they all clearly heard Kanda cry out Allen's real name. Lavi pulled off his headband in frustration. "What the hell did we miss?!"

It was at that moment that the static on the video cleared up. They stared at the screen in disbelief, trying desperately to process what they were seeing. Komui caught on first and was up in a flash, turning off the recorder before his sister's purity was tainted.

In the silence that followed, Lenalee whispered, "Were they just...?" She looked like she had seen a ghost. "...Having sex?"

Lavi's face was white. As much as he had secretly wanted that to happen, he hadn't planned on seeing it. There was quite a difference between knowing your friends were sleeping together and actually seeing them go at it.

Komui clapped his hands together and spoke in a fake cheerful voice. "I think it's about time we all got back to work." He ushered the teens out of the room.

.x.x.

Allen woke up groggily the next morning, in a bed that was neither his nor Kanda's. He panicked briefly before recalling what Lavi had done the night before.

He sat up slowly, yawning and running his fingers through his hair to smooth out his bed head. The moment his hand fell back to his side he was hit in the face with something white. Allen removed the fabric from his head, mock glaring at Kanda.

The samurai smirked from his position on the floor. Like always the Moyashi had perfect timing, waking up just as Kanda finished his morning meditation. "You may want to get dressed before the Baka Usagi comes to check on us."

A nervous sounding knock followed the statement, and Allen scrambled into his shirt. "Umm... Are you guys awake in there?"

Kanda was at the door in a flash, the way he banged on it made Lavi even more scared than he already was. "Let me the fuck out of here, Baka Usagi! If I have to tolerate this idiot for one more second-"

Allen paused his scramble for his clothes and stuck his tongue out at the samurai in response to the statement, which caused Kanda to cut off with a growl so that he wouldn't actually laugh out loud at the sight of his Moyashi acting like a child while naked from the waist down.

Lavi meanwhile found his courage; if Kanda was threatening to kill someone then he didn't know that their actions the night before had been recorded. Which meant that Lavi had blackmail to get the samurai to behave. "Come on, Yuu-chan~. You should be thanking me, not swearing at me."

"And just how the fuck did you reach that conclusion?" Kanda growled, torn between murdering a rabbit and laughing at Allen, who was rushing so much that he had put his pants on backwards.

"I know what you two did in that bed last night." The pair froze completely, Allen's pants falling out of his grip and to the floor. "So before I let you out, I want a thank you for having given you the opportunity to finally get together."

Lavi's demand was met with silence. Allen and Kanda held a wordless conversation before the younger finally spoke. "Umm, Lavi? We've been together for several months now."

"WHAT?!" Lavi flung the door open at the revelation. It was an anticlimactic action though, as Kanda had been leaning against the door, and with the samurai's weight against it, it banged back into the redhead's face. Allen jumped at the noise, blushing fiercely as he hurried to put his pants on correctly.

Kanda smirked as he moved away from the door. He pulled it open to reveal Lavi rubbing his nose. "That hurt!"

"Che. It was your own damn fault, Baka Usagi."

Lavi ignored him and turned his attention to Allen, who was sitting calmly on the bed as if he wasn't half-naked just a few seconds earlier. The British teen smiled sweetly at the shocked look on the redhead's face. "Yes Lavi?"

"You said 'several months'. Exactly how long is that?" It took Lavi a moment to form the sentence; his mind was reeling at finding out that the night before hadn't been a one-time thing.

Allen glanced at Kanda, wordlessly confirming the timeline. He shrugged at Lavi. "Six months."

As Lavi processed that, he suddenly recalled the reason this whole escapade had started in the first place. "Then what's with all the fighting?"

"We were trying to pretend nothing had changed between us." Allen blushed lightly. "We went a little overboard."

"Che. I don't see what the big deal is. It's just a little fighting." Kanda was leaning up against the re-closed door, his arms across his chest.

Allen smirked at him. "That's because you're a sadistic bastard. You don't even know how to be nice in the bedroom."

Kanda returned the smirk, but it was dark. "What does that say about _you_ then, Mo-ya-shi?"

When Allen launched himself towards Kanda, Lavi thought a fight was imminent. He did not expect the pair to start making out. He'd seen them kiss on the recording the night before, but it was nothing like this. Allen leapt onto the samurai, wrapping his legs around the man's waist. Kanda's arms wrapped around the smaller teen, one hand tangling into Allen's hair while the other slid into his pants. Their lips were locked like they couldn't get enough of each other.

Lavi cleared his throat loudly, and the pair broke apart, Allen blushed fiercely and Kanda frowned. Allen's stomach rumbled loudly just then, and the teen's blush got deeper.

"Guess it's time for breakfast, eh Moyashi?" Kanda smirked at the white haired teen, pushing him towards the pile of his clothes that were still on the floor.

.x.x.

Word had passed quickly among the finders and scientists of what Lavi had done to Allen and Kanda that night. Bets had been placed on the outcome, though it was little more than picking which of the teens would be dead by breakfast. The general consensus was that the redhead would be the one to bite the dust.

When the three walked into the cafeteria that morning, all eyes were on them. It wasn't until they were seated at their usual table with Lenalee that the observers began to notice what had changed. And it wasn't what anyone had expected.

Allen and Kanda sat beside each other, closer than usual. Kanda's free hand was on Allen's knee. And every few minutes Allen would briefly lean into the samurai's shoulder. But the most astonishing part was when, after Lenalee demanded proof that the night before wasn't a fluke, Kanda leaned over and kissed Allen on the lips.

A few finders fainted at the completely unexpected action. Others tried to cheer, but they were silenced by the death glare Kanda gave them when he finally released Allen. The room was dead silent after that, so everyone could hear the conversation that followed. "Now, now Bakanda, we've been over this before. You have to be nice to the finders."

"Che. Baka Moyashi." Kanda's tone was angry, but he pulled the smaller teen onto his lap and kissed him again.

.x.x.

Initially Lavi was regarded as a hero for ending the war between the pair, but Kanda put a stop to that the second he heard the rumor. He was not going to let the redhead take credit for bringing him and his Moyashi together. Not when all exposing them did was cause Allen to become more stressed than he already was.

While Allen was thrilled to finally be able to kiss his lover in public, he was still waiting for Central to reach a decision regarding his punishment for that lover being male. It had been two months since their investigation had started. Howard Link had received disciplinary action for withholding information and deceiving his superiors. The investigation had revealed that in the time he was supervising Allen Walker, the inspector had actively covered up the teenager's relationship with Kanda Yuu. The problem with that discovery was that it called into question Link's ruling that the Fourteenth Noah was not a threat, and Central was forced to reopen that investigation.

As far as the Order was concerned, the relationship between Allen and Kanda was a good thing. They had always been the strongest exorcist pairing. A relationship between them only made that bond stronger. It also gave Komui peace of mind in sending them on missions together, knowing that the pair would do whatever it took to keep each other alive. No one cared that they were both men, or rather, the few homophobic finders had the sense to keep their mouths shut.

The fighting between the two never completely stopped. Not a day went by without Allen and Kanda hurling insults at each other. Yet for every curse word, there was a smile or a kiss to balance it out; real names were used just as often as the nicknames. And it was incredibly rare, but there were even occasions on which Kanda Yuu could be heard saying, "I love you," to Allen Walker. No one was going to ruin that with words of hate.

As the Lee siblings had known from the beginning, Central did eventually decide to ignore the homosexual relationship between two of its exorcists. But what happened next came as a surprise to everyone but Howard Link. Over the course of the investigation, they had learned what Link had instinctively known from the moment he had discovered the lovers: Kanda's presence in Allen's life was suppressing the Fourteenth to the point where the Noah could never awaken. From there Central decided that there was only one logical next step. And it was an order that the pair were happy to comply with.

Allen Walker and Kanda Yuu were married on their first anniversary. Lenalee and Lavi were their bridal party. It was a plain yet beautiful service. Everything set Teidoll off and he spent the entire day crying tears of joy. Cross chose an hour before the ceremony started to reveal that he had faked his death. He was not going to miss the opportunity to attend his apprentice's wedding. The redheaded general then proceeded to get drunk and tell embarrassing stories about Allen. Not to be outdone, Teidoll joined in with a story he knew would embarrass Kanda: the one about just how much Allen had changed the samurai. It would later be a wonderful memory, but at the time, the pair were all too happy to leave on the honeymoon that Komui had arranged for them.


	4. Story 4 - Dark Secrets

Story 4: "Dark Secrets"

Summary: A female finder is raped and Komui has to investigate. Unfortunately, his investigation takes a turn for the worse when she points her finger at a certain exorcist.

Warnings: Rape is talked about, but no descriptions are given. Lenalee channels Road and also does some uncharacteristic swearing. Also, there's an OC in this story, sort of. I don't really consider naming a finder to be making an original character, but I thought I'd warn you anyway.

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

The report on Komui's desk troubled him greatly. The accusations it contained were of an incredibly serious matter. So serious in fact, that if he handled the situation poorly he could lose his job as supervisor. But that thought barely crossed his mind.

What had happened seemed too incredible to believe. He had double checked the victim's statement, not personally of course, the situation was still too delicate for that, but the Head Nurse had done good work in checking every detail of what she'd been told.

That someone had been raped on his watch was unthinkable. Yet it had happened. The female finder was currently in the infirmary, recovering from the wounds she had received. When she was well enough, she told her story to the Head Nurse who had written it all down and reported it to the supervisor. The victim remembered enough of the incident to name her attacker.

And that was where things went from bad to worse. It would have been bad enough if she had been raped by a fellow finder, but instead she pointed the finger at an exorcist...

Komui didn't believe that one of his exorcists could do something like that. Even _him._ Sure, the man was a little unstable and didn't care about anyone, but not even _he_ would stoop to raping someone. Or at least that's what Komui had thought prior to reading the report.

Obviously, he needed to get the other side of the story. And he couldn't do that without telling the man the charges against him. But if he did that, his life could be in danger. He needed witnesses, people he could trust to treat the situation with the proper gravity and keep it quiet. And even more importantly, he needed exorcists who had the strength to contain the man if he decided to get physical. Lenalee would do for one, Komui trusted his sister more than anyone after all. Allen Walker was the next logical choice among the exorcists currently at headquarters. He would certainly treat the situation seriously. His presence might just make things worse though:

There was no one Kanda Yuu hated more.

.x.x.

The three exorcists reported to Komui's office exactly like they had been instructed to. With no words to the contrary, they assumed it was a mission briefing. It wasn't until they were seated that they learned differently.

"I am about to disclose something very serious to you. Nothing I say is to leave this room. Understand?" The three nodded hesitantly, struck speechless by the unexpected seriousness of the supervisor's tone. "Allen, Lenalee. You are here as witnesses. What I have to say concerns Kanda alone, I need you to stay out of this unless it is absolutely necessary. Understand?"

Lenalee nodded, hiding her burning curiosity behind a calm exterior. "Of course, Nii-san."

Allen looked to Kanda who was glaring daggers at him. He turned back to Komui. "Are you sure that I'm really who you want for this?"

"Honestly, no. But you're the best choice of those who are currently at headquarters, and this can't wait."

"Ok." Allen glanced back to Kanda before he fell silent. Inwardly he was panicking. He had no clue what was going on, but it wasn't good.

After a few minutes of silence, Kanda shifted his glare from the Moyashi to Komui. "Well? Get on with it."

Komui fumbled the file in his hands, nearly dropping it. He steadied himself and took a deep breath. Exhaling slowly he decided to go with the direct approach. "You've been accused of rape."

Lenalee's eyes nearly bugged out of her head. Kanda actually showed an emotion other than anger or annoyance: horror. And Allen... Allen burst out laughing.

It started as a snicker but it quickly grew into an all-out belly laugh. He was doubled over and having trouble breathing, he was laughing so hard.

It was a completely unexpected reaction. The other three gaped at him for a moment, before Komui collected himself. "Allen! This is serious! Calm down!"

Allen tried to make himself stop laughing, but it didn't work. Kanda growled and kicked the chair he was in, knocking the white haired young man onto the ground. Allen lay there for a minute as the laughter died to random giggles. He righted the chair and sat down. "Sorry for that. You can continue."

Komui narrowed his eyes at Allen. The Brit had shoved his Innocence hand into his mouth, biting down to stop the laughter from coming back. When the supervisor was satisfied that the outburst was over he turned back to Kanda. "A female finder claims that on the night of the twenty-third, you broke into her room and proceeded to beat and rape her. She-"

Another giggle escaped from Allen. Everyone turned to glare at him. Komui had had enough. "Alright Allen, this is an incredibly serious situation, what on earth could you possibly find funny about it?"

Kanda's eyes widened ever so slightly as he realized what Allen was thinking. Allen returned the samurai's gaze calmly, speaking to the supervisor without breaking eye contact with Kanda. "First of all: Kanda and I were together all evening on the twenty-third. He can't possibly have done what that woman is accusing him of."

Komui pounced on the possibility that Kanda had an alibi. "Can anyone verify that? Is there anyone who knows that what you're saying is true?"

Allen blinked at the question. He blushed slightly at the memory of that night. "No. No one else was around."

"Then you were alone?" That didn't seem right to the supervisor. "What were you doing?"

Allen shrugged off the question. "I don't remember specifics; it was just the usual stuff that happens when we're alone together."

Like Allen wanted, Komui assumed that meant they were training and beating the crap out of each other. Unfortunately, it didn't change anything. "I'm sorry Allen, but simply saying that you were with Kanda isn't going to be enough to get him off the hook."

Allen's dejected expression was broken by another fit of giggles. Kanda's glare deepened, he didn't know how much longer he could keep quiet. Komui frowned at the white haired young man. "Allen. Explain. What is it about this that you find so funny?"

Allen shook his head to get rid of the giggles. "It's no stretch of the imagination that Kanda would try to rape someone." He smirked at the memory of the night the samurai had tried. "And I don't want to make any assumptions as to whether or not that lady was actually raped. But either way she picked the wrong person to accuse."

When he paused for breath, Kanda growled at him, kicking him in the shin. "Are you sure you want to finish that thought, Moyashi?"

Allen met his gaze steadily, ignoring the pain in his shin. "It's the lesser of two evils, Bakanda."

Komui looked back and forth between the two young men, trying and failing to figure out what they weren't saying out loud. "What are you talking about? Please explain it to me."

Without breaking his gaze, and ignoring the aura flowing off the samurai, Allen answered the question. "Kanda doesn't _like_ women."

"Oh. ...OH!" It only took the Chinese man a couple of seconds to grasp what Allen meant. _Kanda's_ gay _?! I certainly didn't expect that... Wait!_ He stared seriously at Allen. "How do _you_ know that?"

The glaring between Kanda and Allen only got deeper. Only this time Kanda was smirking.

"Oh my God!" Lenalee finally broke her silence. She was as white as a sheet, her mind completely blown by the conclusion she had reached. "You know... And he's... 'Alone together'... Really, Allen? Really?"

Allen turned bright red at her words. Kanda snickered at the change in coloring on his Moyashi. "You can't out me without outing yourself, Mo-ya-shi."

Komui still had no clue what was happening. He turned to his sister. "What's going on? What are you talking about?"

Her stunned expression never changed. "They slept together, Nii-san."

You could have knocked Komui over with a feather he was so shocked. He looked back at the young men. Allen was looking at his lap, his white hair spilling across his face and hiding it from view. Kanda had leaned back in his chair, crossed his arms over his chest, and was glaring at the wall. Neither was putting any effort into denying what Lenalee had just said.

Komui focused on Allen, wondering what was going through the young man's head. Kanda had tried to kill the younger on several occasions, what could have possibly made Allen want to sleep with the samurai? The incident he was investigating took precedence over his curiosity though. "So then when you said that you and Kanda were together at the time of the rape, you meant...?"

Allen nodded once, his voice never faltering as he spoke words that he was terrified of saying out loud. "We were in my room, having sex in my bed."

Komui just stared at him. He hadn't expected Allen to say it flat out like that. So much for being able to feign ignorance. He sighed. "Do you really understand the consequences of what you just said, Allen?"

"He does." Kanda shifted his glare back to Allen. "He's the one who insisted on keeping this quiet in the first place."

Komui blinked at the two young men. With Kanda's words, it became undeniably true that they were sleeping together. But there was something else there too. The way Kanda had phrased that implied that their relationship went deeper than just sex.

Lenalee caught it too. She stared critically at both of them. "Does that mean that there's actually something romantic going on between you two?"

Allen looked at Kanda, who merely shrugged. "It's out either way, if you want to tell them, tell them."

The white haired young man pulled a necklace out from under his shirt. Dangling from the thin chain was a silver ring. The Lee siblings' eyes were glued to that band as Allen fiddled with it. They both knew without having to hear the words that it was an engagement ring. "I only wear it on my finger when we're on missions together. It's mostly just to cut down on people flirting with me, because he gets really jealous when that happens."

Lenalee could only stare at her friend. Allen was actually in love with Kanda. She was happy for him of course, but she couldn't help feeling a little sad that it wasn't her.

Komui's gaze fell to his desk, catching the folder still in his hands. _And I had thought this couldn't get any worse..._ He adjusted his glasses and cleared his throat. "We've gotten off track. Kanda and Allen, you are positive that you were, ahem, _together_ on the night of the rape?"

Both of them nodded. "And is there anyone at all who knows about your relationship? Someone who could verify that you're not making this up just to avoid the rape charges?"

There was a moment of serious thought before Kanda spoke. "Marie."

When Komui didn't respond, Allen elaborated. "Miranda knows too, but you probably don't want to talk to her. It would only freak her out."

Komui nodded a few times. Then he looked up at the pair. "I have to investigate this to confirm Kanda's alibi. I'll keep it as quiet as I can, but you need to be prepared for the chance it comes out. If the rape investigation goes south, I may not be able to protect you. Because you were right earlier, Allen. Homosexuality has the lesser consequences of the two, and revealing your relationship may be the only way to keep Kanda from getting convicted of rape."

The supervisor was clearly done talking, so Kanda got up and left. Allen was about to follow when Lenalee spoke, her question stopping him in his tracks. "Nii-san? Which finder did this happen to?"

"It's best if I don't answer that. She's still recovering, and I wouldn't want anyone to disturb her yet."

Lenalee nodded. "I understand."

She stood up and left the office, pulling Allen along with her. She didn't let go of her white haired friend until they were quite a ways down the hall. Allen blanched at the look on her face. "I have a whole lot of questions for you, but they're going to have to wait. I know that Kanda would be executed if he's found guilty of raping that finder. What I don't know is: what's going to happen to the two of you if Komui has to tell everyone that you're gay? It's clearly something bad, but I don't understand why."

Allen laughed lightly. "That's because you're kind and open-minded."

He sighed and leaned against the wall. "Central however, is not. The short version is that if we weren't exorcists, we'd be executed. But because we are, things are a little less certain. There's a very slim chance that they'd let us be, though now that I know that your brother is on our side, that seems a bit more possible. We'll most likely be separated, banned from ever seeing each other again."

Lenalee gaped at Allen. "That's awful. What-"

"Again, that's a nicer alternative. With everything I've seen them do, they could do any number of cruel and unusual things to us."

"How is that better than execution?"

"We'd be alive." Allen sighed and looked at the ceiling. "As long as we're alive there's the chance we'd be able to find each other again."

Lenalee was suddenly pulling him down the hall again. "Lena, wait! Where are you taking me?"

"We're going to go talk to that finder. I'm not going to let that bitch do this to you."

"Lenalee! Did you really just say that?!" Allen was more than a little disturbed by her sudden change in behavior.

She laughed, but that only creeped Allen out more. "Like you weren't thinking it."

He really wasn't. Even with his lover's life on the line, Allen couldn't bring himself to think badly of the accuser. "How do you even expect to find her? Your brother wouldn't tell you who she was."

"But he _did_ say that she's still recovering. Which must mean that she's in the infirmary." She increased her speed. "Now hurry up and stop dawdling!"

.x.x.

The perfect little girl act that Lenalee put on for the nurses terrified Allen. From their conversation in the hall, he knew that the Chinese woman was just about ready to murder "the bitch who would dare split up my family!"

Yet she acted completely innocent, claiming her brother sent her to interview the finder, Olivia. Allen tried to leave several times during the conversation, but Lenalee kept such a tight grip on his wrist that he wouldn't be able to break it without hurting her.

Her act may have fooled the nurse, but it didn't fool Olivia. She knew how protective Lenalee was of her friends, and denied her access to the room.

Komui arrived while Lenalee was trying to convince the nurse to let her in anyway. He had come to see if Olivia was ready to talk to him yet. But first, he was going to have to deal with the two exorcists. "You really shouldn't be here, Allen."

Allen made an irritated noise. "I'm aware of that, Komui." He tried to pull away from Lenalee once more, but her grip didn't budge. "Would you let go of me already?"

Lenalee made puppy dog eyes at her brother when he turned his attention to her. "Please let us stay, Nii-san."

The supervisor narrowed his eyes at his sister. He really should have known that she would do something like this. He was incapable of denying her request though. "Fine, but you have to stay over there."

Komui waited until the pair were standing against the far wall, then he and the nurse went into Olivia's room. He stopped just inside the door, keeping his distance so she would feel more at ease. Last time he had tried to speak to her, she had freaked out before he even got in the door. So even though she refused to look at him, it was progress.

Clearing his throat, Komui closed the door so that his sister and Allen couldn't hear what was happening. "Olivia-san, would you be willing to recount your experience for me?"

She didn't say a word. The slight shake of her head was the only response Komui got. He moved on to his next question. "You have named Kanda Yuu as your attacker. Is this true?"

Olivia gave him a barely audible "Yes."

Komui scribbled something in the folder he was holding. "And how certain are you that he was indeed the man who attacked you?"

She was silent again. The supervisor tried to gauge if it was because she was thinking or because she didn't want to answer the question. He couldn't tell. But when she still hadn't responded after a couple minutes, he moved on to the next item. "I am still conducting my investigation, but Kanda has an alibi for the night of the incident. He can't be the man who attacked you. Does that change your story at all?"

The expression on her face was a mixture of horror and anger. "That's a lie! That man raped me and you would just take his word over mine?! What kind of a conspiracy is this?!"

Komui let her shout. Until she calmed down anything he said would only aggravate her further. When she finally stopped hurling insults, Komui collected himself and spoke as calmly as he could. "I'm sorry, but my hands are tied. Unless you tell me your story, I can't help you."

She laughed in derision. "Ha! It won't change anything. This is just going to get covered up!"

When Komui opened his mouth to protest, she spoke again. "Go away. I'm done talking to you."

He frowned, but complied. He gave a short bow, and then turned to leave. "I'm sorry you feel that way."

Komui was halfway out the door when she suddenly said, "Stop."

"That's Allen Walker out in the hall, isn't it? I'll talk to him. And only him."

Komui looked from her to where Allen was standing, completely oblivious to the fact that he had just been mentioned. The supervisor turned back to Olivia. "Why?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Just send him in."

"I'll see what I can do." He bowed again and left the room, the nurse following behind him.

Lenalee pounced on her brother the second he was back in the hall. "So? What did she say?"

Komui sighed and adjusted his glasses. "She wants to talk to Allen."

Allen looked scared and backed further into the wall. Komui gave him a gentle smile. "I didn't tell her anything about you and Kanda. But you've got the entire Order fooled into thinking you hate him. She probably thinks you'll be on her side."

The white haired young man relaxed a little, and Lenalee used the opportunity to pull him towards the door. "Get in there and talk to her."

Komui physically stopped her with hands to her shoulders, giving Allen the chance to finally escape her grip. "That's not a good idea. He's sexually involved with the man she's accusing of raping her. He won't be able to treat this situation impartially."

"But it's _Allen._ " Lenalee argued.

Her brother sighed; his sister's logic was undeniable. "That doesn't make this any less of a bad idea, Lenalee."

He turned to Allen and stared seriously at the young man. "We need her to tell us what happened, and she says she'll talk to you. Will you be able to listen to her without causing problems?"

After a long moment of thought, in which the Lee siblings both thought he had forgotten they were there, Allen nodded. "I'll do my best. I need to know what's going on."

The nurse went inside Olivia's room and explained the situation to her. She opened the blinds covering the window so that they would be able to watch and make sure nothing happened. Then she moved a chair, placing it far enough from the bed that Allen would be more than an arm's reach away from Olivia. Then the nurse left. "She's ready, Allen."

He paused outside the door. There was a moment of panic as everyone watched him active his Innocence. Allen drew his sword and leaned it against the wall. He could feel their confused looks, so he turned back to them and smiled. "I think we'll all feel better if I'm unarmed in there."

Then he went inside and closed the door behind him. He sat cross legged on the chair, keeping his one hand firmly in his lap, idly fiddling with the cuff of his empty left sleeve. Once he was settled, he looked at Olivia. He'd been on a mission or two with her before, and remembered her as being a somewhat pretty brunette. That beauty was almost gone now, hidden behind dark bruises and bandaged cuts. Allen broke the silence first. "Why me?"

"Because..." She seemed to struggle for words. "Because I know your reputation. The Order, and especially that _supervisor_ ," she practically spat the word, "are going to do whatever they can to pretend this never happened. I know that you won't let them sweep this under the rug."

Allen nodded slowly. It made sense, in her paranoid state she would want to be careful who she trusted. "Tell me what happened."

He sat there in silence while she described her attack in great detail. He hung on every word, and absorbed every detail. He needed to know exactly what happened that night.

When Olivia was done with her story, she leaned back and waited for him to say something. She had decided to talk to him on an impulse, because of his hatred for her attacker, she hadn't expected him to actually listen so patiently while she cried and stumbled over her words.

Allen sighed heavily and asked the question that was bothering him. "How do you know that it was Kanda who attacked you?"

He was glad he'd left his weapon outside when she started swearing. It was incredibly uncomfortable hearing his fiancé talked about like that. It took everything he had to remind himself that she was only saying those things because she believed Kanda raped her.

When he ignored the curses, Allen managed to piece together what Olivia was saying. "You don't actually know it was him, do you?"

"Are you implying that I'm making all this up just to get that bastard in trouble?" Her defensive tone made Allen bristle. "Because I'm not going to let you accuse me of faking being raped!"

"No. That's not at all what I meant. I believe you really were attacked. And I want to see the guy who did this to you get punished. But I want that to be the right guy." He paused while he watched her calm down. "All I was saying is that it sounds like you accused Kanda based on conjectures. You took what you knew about your attacker and determined that Kanda fit that best and so you decided it was him that attacked you."

Olivia remained silent, so Allen continued to talk. She understood the logic behind his words, even if she didn't agree with them. "If you had told Komui that you only had a description, he would have been investigating that instead of wasting time questioning Kanda. You need to talk to him now, before his investigation confirms Kanda's alibi."

"What alibi?" She practically spit the words. "It's just nonsense made up by the higher ups. They'd do anything to protect one of their exorcists. I thought you of all people would understand that. You hate Kanda. Why would you so willingly accept something that is so obviously a lie?"

Allen sighed. He thought he'd made progress, she had seemed like she was considering recanting her accusation. Apparently, he was wrong. "Look, I know that Kanda's alibi isn't something that anyone made up. And I was there when Komui questioned him. Komui is taking this very seriously, but you _need_ to tell him that you don't know who raped you. He can't investigate this properly if you don't."

Olivia stared blankly at Allen; once again, his cold logic was at odds with her anger. He sighed again. He stood from his chair and moved to the door, pausing with his hand on the doorknob. "I didn't want to tell you this, but I guess I don't have a choice. _I'm_ Kanda's alibi. At the time you were being raped, he was with me. So will you please change your story? Because I have to stick with mine, and I don't want you to have to go through that."

Allen didn't wait for a response. He left the room before she had time to process what he said.

Ignoring the curious looks the others were giving him, Allen picked up his sword from where he left it and deactivated it. Then he turned and stared levelly at Komui. "She doesn't know who raped her; all she has is a description. I know you don't believe that coming from me, but it's true. I tried to convince her to tell you herself, but she's too paranoid. She's going to continue to accuse Kanda."

He walked off. Komui took a few steps after him, but knew chasing Allen was pointless; the angry and frustrated aura coming off of him was enormous. "Allen! Wait! Where are you going?"

The rumbling of the young man's stomach was the only answer he got, and the only one he needed.

.x.x.

The rumor that Kanda had raped someone had spread like wildfire. No one ever figured out how it got started, but by the time lunchtime came around the cafeteria was buzzing with gossip.

Kanda sat at his usual table, with his usual soba, but with a much larger bubble than usual. Normally the samurai wouldn't have cared that people were avoiding him, but he could hear the whispers and was realizing just how unliked he was. For the first time he understood what Allen meant whenever he'd told him to lighten up or relax. It wasn't about having a sense of humor; it was about not getting angry at every little thing.

The moment Allen entered the cafeteria he was warned to stay away from the samurai, but he ignored the well-meaning finder and sat with Kanda anyway. Allen wasn't going to let peer pressure stop him from sitting with his fiancé. The pair never said a word to each other as they ate; body language was all they needed to communicate.

Both of them wondered how the gossipers would react if they knew that "someone as perfect as Allen" was sleeping with "a monster like Kanda", but they were interrupted when Lenalee sat down with them. She had been kicked out of the infirmary not long after Allen left.

The meal was spent answering the questions Lenalee had about their relationship. They kept their voices quiet so as to not be overheard since they were in the middle of the cafeteria. After receiving satisfactory answers to her questions, Lenalee finally worked up the nerve to ask the one that most intrigued her. "So... How did all this start?"

Kanda managed to pull off glaring at Allen and Lenalee at the same time. The white haired young man smirked at the samurai, which only made his glare deepen. They both knew that Allen would tell the story in the way that most embarrassed Kanda. His whisper was barely audible, but that didn't make his tone any less firm. "He came into my room one night with the intention of raping me."

Lenalee's eyes looked like they were about to fly out of her head. She expected Allen to start grinning like it was all a big joke, but instead the young man turned his attention back to his food. She watched him poke at the dishes; the expression on his face looking more like he had just told her that it had rained than that his fiancé had once tried to rape him.

Her "WHAT?!" was less of the shocked screech she intended it to be, and was more of a strangled whisper. She looked back and forth between her two best friends, but even Kanda's body language confirmed that they weren't messing with her.

Allen sighed and gave her a gentle smile. "Kanda's solution to how ... sexually frustrated he was with me was to take me by force..."

.x.x.

Allen lay in the small bed of his room at the inn, trying to fall asleep but struggling to do so in the unfamiliar environment. He rolled over onto his stomach and buried his face in his pillow. He heard, but didn't register, the faint click of the lock of his door being picked. The flicker of light coming in from the hallway as the door was opened was missed, as were the dark shadow of someone swiftly stepping inside and the click of the door being relocked.

There was hardly any light in the small room, but it was enough for the intruder to see by. His dark eyes took in the shape of the sleeping white haired teen, practically devouring him with his gaze. The way the blankets accentuated the teen's skinny form made the intruder's already tight pants get tighter.

The dark figure paused in his steps momentarily; there was no turning back once this started. He desperately wanted and needed the body below him, so much so that it had come to this. But the white haired boy was so pure and innocent, especially in his sleep. Did he really have the heart to take that all away?

Allen shifted slightly and the intruder's focus returned to his pulsing erection. The teen had been unknowingly torturing him ever since they first crossed paths. And today's events were the final straw. He couldn't take any more. Masturbation had stopped satisfying him over a month ago. He needed release, and this was the only way he was going to get it. And if the teen fought back, well that's what the syringe in his coat pocket was for. It would disable the teen's Innocence and disorient him enough to give the dark haired intruder the upper hand.

Having made up his mind, the intruder inched closer to the bed. He moved as silently as a cat, not wanting to wake his prey. The dark figure froze when Allen shifted yet again, this time rolling onto his back, tossing the blankets aside and covering his face with the crook of his elbow. A few agonizingly slow seconds passed before the intruder dared to breathe. Then he swiftly covered the remaining distance and climbed onto the bed.

The sudden weight on top of him was Allen's first sign that there was someone in his room. His eyes flew open, recognizing the intruder even in the darkness. He sat up, quickly pulling himself out from under the taller figure. "What the _hell_ are you doing, Bakanda?"

The Japanese man was startled to find his prey awake and lucid. He hesitated for the briefest of seconds, doubting his plan, before forging ahead and capturing the teen's lips. Allen gasped at the initial contact, but how he responded blew Kanda's mind. Instead of fighting back, he pulled the samurai closer.

Kanda pushed Allen down onto the mattress, removing his hand from his pocket and leaving the syringe behind. He hadn't expected the white haired teen to cooperate, but it appeared that that was actually happening. So long as his prey was willing, he wouldn't need to stoop to rape, but he would keep his guard up in case things went south.

Allen remained blissfully unaware of the samurai's intentions. His fingers tangled into Kanda's hair as the kiss deepened. They danced across his scalp until they reached his hair tie. The cord was swiftly untied, and the navy hair cascaded down around them.

Kanda broke the kiss and eyed Allen critically. His hand strayed to the pocket with the syringe in it. "What do you think you're doing, Moyashi?"

The white haired teen laughed, sliding his hands from Kanda's hair down to his chest. "I asked you first, Bakanda. You're the one who snuck into my room in the middle of the night."

"Moyashi-"

Allen kissed Kanda briefly, shutting him up and making him lose his grip on the syringe. The teen's fingers began unbuttoning Kanda's jacket. "For all I know, I'm having a wet dream. So just shut up and let me enjoy this."

.x.x.

"... Long story short, I found the syringe while we were getting dressed." Allen paused briefly to make sure Kanda wasn't murdering him with his eyes before he continued. "That led to a whole lot of fighting and arguing, and that led to more sex. But that didn't happen the way he expected it to either."

This was something Kanda objected to. He growled at Allen. "Don't tell her that."

Allen pouted at him. "But I like that part."

"I know you do. But it's embarrassing for me."

"This whole story is embarrassing for you." Allen snickered.

Kanda frowned. "That part's the worst though."

Allen gave him a look that reminded Lenalee of a kicked puppy. "But it's my favorite part, Yuu. I like that you let me take you."

"Mo-ya-shiiii!"

The white haired young man clasped his hands over his mouth. "Oops. Sorry."

Lenalee continued to stare wide eyed at both of her friends. She had been struck speechless at learning that Kanda really had tried to rape Allen. The embarrassing tidbit that Allen had let slip had gone over her head. She understood that she had just been told something juicy, but she had no clue what it was. She wanted to ask for an explanation, but the look on Kanda's face said that she wouldn't get one. So she settled for sighing and stopping the two from killing each other. "Sit down, Kanda! It doesn't matter that he told me, because I have no clue what he's talking about."

The two young men stared at her for a moment before being satisfied that she was telling the truth. Lenalee filled the silence that followed. "I don't want to hear about your sex life anyway, so let's move on to something else. What happened the night you got engaged?"

Kanda scoffed and Allen snickered. Lenalee blinked at them. "What?"

Allen collected himself and placed a hand gently on hers. "You can't say that you don't want us to talk about sex, and then ask us about a night where all we did was have sex."

The Chinese woman turned bright red. She was saved from further embarrassment by the appearance of her brother. Komui approached the table where the three exorcists were sitting, and their conversation abruptly halted. "Olivia retracted her accusation. What exactly did you say to her, Allen?"

The white haired young man blinked at the supervisor. "I didn't think she listened to me."

"Allen." Komui gave the young man a look, telling him to focus and answer the question.

"It wasn't much; just that she should trust you." After a pause, he tacked on, "And that I couldn't be on her side if she continued to accuse Kanda."

"You didn't tell her-"

"Of course not!" Allen was horrified by the suggestion. "All I said was that I was Kanda's alibi. It was the only way I could think of to convince her to trust me."

Komui nodded absently a few times, thinking hard about the response. "Well it worked. I've got an investigation to get back to, but you should be able to relax now. I don't foresee any reason to expose your relationship."

.x.x.

The man who had actually raped Olivia was quickly found and apprehended. There weren't many men in the Order who had hair as long as Kanda's, so it didn't take much time to investigate them all.

The official verdict that Kanda was innocent had been announced at breakfast four days ago. Half of the Order's staff accepted the samurai's innocence, the other half didn't. They demanded proof of his alibi. And until they got it, they were going to make his life hell. (It only worked in theory though, as they were all still scared to death of him and his temper.)

The four exorcist friends were sitting together at dinner. Lenalee was itching to tell the redheaded Bookman apprentice everything she'd learned about Allen and Kanda's relationship, but she had been sworn to secrecy. She smiled occasionally at Allen, who was poking silently at his food. The stress of having his fiancé's every move questioned was taking its toll on him. They hadn't been alone together since the whole fiasco started. Lavi failed to notice that the youngest of their group was distracted; he was too busy trying to get Kanda to spill his alibi (for curiosity's sake, not because he sided with those finders).

The tension at the table was broken when Komui approached. He didn't say a word, just handed Allen a file. The young man opened it with disinterest, but soon his eyes were glued to the contents. He read every word twice. And then a third time for good measure. When he looked up his eyes were sparkling with hope. He had been so prepared for the worst that this outcome caught him completely off guard. "Is this for real?"

Komui grinned. "Absolutely."

If it were possible, the young man's eyes sparkled even brighter. He jumped from his seat and hugged the supervisor. "Thank you!"

The Chinese man laughed. "Don't thank me, thank Olivia. She's the one who pulled the stings."

Tears pooled in Allen's silver eyes. "Why would she...?"

Komui smiled gently as he took the file back. "She said it was a gift. A thank you to you for believing in her, and an apology to both you and Kanda for turning your lives upside down."

The conversation had the attention of everyone in the cafeteria. But no one expected Allen's next move:

The white haired young man moved swiftly back to the table and sat on Kanda's lap. He straddled the samurai's hips, pressing their chests together in a tight hug. Allen pulled Kanda's hair tie from his ponytail. And as the strands fell around them, the two locked together in a kiss.

In the complete silence that followed, every word the pair said could be heard perfectly. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Moyashi?"

Allen's eyes continued to sparkle as he kissed the Japanese man again. The tears of joy and relief began to fall when he spoke. "Central has officially approved of our engagement, Yuu. They're going to allow us to get married."

Kanda turned from his crying fiancé to the supervisor. His question died in his throat when he saw the expression on the man's face. It was true. The Lee siblings smiled happily at each other as Allen and Kanda kissed passionately.

Meanwhile, Lavi's brain, along with the rest of the cafeteria's, was about ready to explode. The fiercest rivals in the history of the Order were making out and talking about _marriage_. The redhead cleared his throat loudly. "Could someone please explain what's going on?"

Allen blushed fiercely as he snapped back to the present and realized what he'd just done in public. He tried to move, but Kanda's arms kept a tight hold on him. The samurai smirked at Lavi. "You wanted to know what I was doing the night of the rape; that's your answer: Allen. I was doing Allen."

The euphemism was rewarded with a light fist to the stomach. While the pair bickered and kissed, Lenalee explained everything to Lavi and the bystanders.

The redhead was at a loss for words. He had always prided himself in his observational skills, so how had he missed the romantic relationship between two of his closest comrades? But he could see it all so clearly now: the secret glances, the obvious lies, every step they had painstakingly taken to hide their true feelings. Ultimately Lavi was thankful for his status as a Bookman; that impartial detachment allowed him to react without having to decide if he was happy for the pair or disgusted by the homosexuality.

Eventually Allen broke away from Kanda and returned to his own seat, though they remained close. Allen removed the chain from his neck and placed his engagement ring on his finger. Lenalee immediately switched topics, pestering the pair about their wedding plans.

Her brother laughed at the blank looks on the pair's faces. He smiled at his sister. "I think it's safe to assume that they have never even thought about having, or want to have, a wedding. That's why I brought this."

A second file was placed in the center of the table where all four exorcists could see it. The marriage license was already filled out, complete with a priest's signature, it was only missing theirs. Komui pulled a pen out of his pocket and handed it to Allen. The white haired young man took it without hesitation and smoothly signed his name on the paper. It was too sudden, but he didn't want to risk Central changing their minds.

When he was done, Kanda took the pen and scribbled his signature beside Allen's. He wanted nothing more than to be officially joined to his Moyashi.

Lavi and Lenalee signed as witnesses, and it was done. In the middle of the cafeteria, on an unremarkable Thursday evening, Allen Walker and Kanda Yuu were officially married.

It would be several months before they would learn Central's true motives behind letting them marry, but in the meantime, they were just happy to be together.


	5. Story 5 - White Twilight

Story 5: "White Twilight"

Summary: The sequel to Story 4 - "Dark Secrets", in which we learn Central's true motives for allowing Allen and Kanda to marry.

Contains mpreg and character death (secondary characters).

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

Komui Lee was in the archive room at headquarters, wandering through the stacks of records. He was being especially stealthy. If anyone found out that he was looking for something pertinent to the experiment he was working on, they'd make him stop. That's what lead him to the dusty corner in the back. These were the records that no one ever needed, so there'd be no reason for anyone else to be in that section.

Eventually he forgot his mission and gave in to his curiosity. He had found some records that seemed out of place. At first glance, they appeared to be medical records on past exorcists. This dusty old corner wasn't where they should have been. So he pulled out the whole box and took it back to his office. He wanted to know why they had been misfiled.

Safely at his desk, he began to look through the files in depth. The pattern was obvious immediately. The data was from eight different exorcists: all male, all in their twenties at the time of the records, and all accommodators of parasitic Innocence fragments. It sounded suspiciously like a certain white haired exorcist who was loved by everyone at headquarters. Komui dug deeper into the files, and what he read made his heart stop.

He bolted from his office and straight into his little sister, almost upsetting the cart of coffee she was pushing. "Nii-san? What's wrong?"

"Are Allen and Kanda here?" He was too disturbed to give in to the desire to fawn over his sister.

Lenalee blinked at the abrupt question. "Yes, they were heading to the cafeteria last time I saw them."

"Can you go tell them I need to see them?"

"Of course." She nodded politely and started to walk away.

Komui called after her. "Tell them it's urgent. It can't wait for Allen to finish eating."

Hearing that, she picked up speed and ran off. The Supervisor returned to his office. He sat back at his desk, and flipped through the files once more. It seemed like hours passed before the two exorcists arrived.

Kanda Yuu and Allen Walker-Kanda had been married for six months. In some ways, they had grown more alike, and in some, they were as different as ever. They came into Komui's office, Kanda grumbling and swearing, and Allen quiet and polite.

The Supervisor watched Allen critically. Was it his imagination, or had the young man gained a little weight around the middle? He shook his head. It had to be the first option; he was only seeing it that way because of the files he'd just finished going through.

Kanda growled from the chair he'd sat down in. "Get on with it, Komui. What was so damn important that it couldn't wait until after dinner?"

Komui took a deep breath and kept his gaze locked on Allen. "I was going through some old files and I found something that the two of you need to know."

"And what would that be, Komui?" The way the Chinese man was staring at him made Allen nervous.

"It's possible for male parasite-type accommodators to have children."

Allen and Kanda shared a confused look. "What are you talking about?"

Komui was briefly confused by their confusion. "Sorry, that came out wrong. I meant: it's possible for them to have children in the same way a woman would. The Innocence changes their bodies in such a way that it allows them to conceive and bear children."

"Wait." Kanda couldn't believe what he was hearing. It had to be some sort of cruel joke. "You can't actually be saying that it's possible for the Moyashi to get _pregnant_."

Komui's nod silenced Allen before he could protest. "That is what I'm telling you. If you two continue like you have been, Allen's going to end up pregnant."

Allen was suddenly glad he hadn't finished eating. That news made him sick to his stomach. "Why now? Why wasn't I told this years ago?"

"I called for you the second I found out." Komui smiled gently, hoping to placate the young men before one of them lost their temper. "The information was in a disused section of the archives, almost like someone was trying to hide it. I stumbled onto it by accident."

"Why would that information be hidden?" It took everything Allen had to keep his voice level.

Komui sighed. "According to these records, there was a time when the Order was experimenting on male parasite-types; forcing them to have sex with other male exorcists until they got pregnant. The goal was to see if their babies would also be parasite-type accommodators."

When he paused for breath, he surveyed the two carefully. Kanda was as angry and impassive as always, which wasn't surprising given the experiments that he had personally lived through. Allen was on the verge of tears. The young man looked like he was going to say something, but instead he flat out fainted.

Kanda barely caught his husband before he fell to the floor. He eased the young man the rest of the way to the ground, settling Allen's head in his lap. The samurai was actually laughing, if only just a little.

It wasn't until Lenalee arrived with coffee for her brother that they were able to wake Allen. Neither of the men had much experience in dealing with unconscious people.

With Lenalee present, they couldn't continue their conversation. Komui tried to tell her it was private, but she wouldn't tolerate them keeping secrets from her. Not after the events leading up to Allen and Kanda's marriage.

Kanda rolled his eyes at the arguing siblings. "It's the Moyashi's secret. Shouldn't it be up to him whether or not she finds out?"

Lenalee immediately focused on Allen. "Pleeeaaaaseeee?"

Allen sighed. There weren't any reasons, outside of embarrassment, that he could think of for not telling Lenalee. He smiled shakily at her. "We just discovered that it's possible for me to get pre-..."

He clasped a hand over his mouth and shook his head. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. He couldn't say the word, not in that context.

Lenalee blinked at him. Concern was written all over her face. "Allen? What is it?"

Allen only shook his head some more. Kanda snickered. "The word he can't say is 'pregnant'. It's possible for the Moyashi to get pregnant."

The color drained from Lenalee's face. She looked back at Allen. "You mean you're going to have a baby?"

"NO!" Allen was mortified by the conclusion she had reached. "We're saying it's possible, not that I am!"

She relaxed a little. "Oh, good. That would be too weird."

"Because _this_ isn't?" Kanda rolled his eyes at her reaction. "Can we get back to business, Komui?"

"Of course." The Supervisor nodded as he began cleaning up the files. "Given this new development, the two of you need to be careful when you ... sleep together. You know, use protection and all that. Though maybe that could go without saying. I can't imagine the two of you actually wanting to make a baby. But you should know that, because you're married, if Allen does end up pregnant, you _will_ have to raise the baby. There will be no giving it away, even with the war going on."

The couple nodded solemnly. Lenalee was trying not to laugh at the idea of Allen and Kanda raising a baby. Komui placed all the files back in their box and offered it to Allen. "You should read these reports, Allen. There are some things you should know that are explained much better in them than I could."

Allen took the box. "Anything else?"

"Be careful with those. And come back to talk to me when you're done. You're free to go back to dinner now."

The white haired young man bowed slightly and left the office, his husband at his heels. They didn't go back to the cafeteria. Instead, they went to their rooms; after their marriage, they'd been moved into a suite: a larger bedroom with an attached living room and private bathroom.

Allen dropped the box unceremoniously on the couch, then went to the bedroom and collapsed on the large bed in a heap. Kanda lay beside him and pulled his lover into his arms. They stayed that way until Allen finished crying. His voice was hoarse when he finally spoke. "This is awful..."

Kanda snorted. "No, it's not. The only thing that's changed is that we have to start using condoms."

"And what happens if we forget?" Allen didn't even bother to look up.

"Then you'll have to top."

"That's not what I meant, Yuu."

Kanda rolled his eyes and rolled Allen over so that they were facing. "Allen. We've been together for years and nothing's happened. One screw up isn't going to suddenly change everything."

He smirked at the face Allen made. "Besides, Komui was wrong. If it was up to me, I'd take you here and now, and not let up until you got pregnant."

Allen blinked slowly at him. "That's not a funny joke, Bakanda."

"It's not a joke, Moyashi." Kanda stared serenely down at his confused spouse. "If all that mattered were my feelings, if we weren't in the middle of a war, then I would knock you up in a heartbeat. After hearing the news, I've found that I want nothing more than to have a child with you."

"That's not gonna happen."

"I know." Kanda smiled wistfully and brushed his fingers through his husband's snow white hair. "I know that getting pregnant is already your worst nightmare. And I know that there's a war going on. But it doesn't hurt to dream."

Allen was silent. He had fallen asleep. Kanda laughed lightly as he removed his husband's coat and boots, and tucked him into bed.

.x.x.

The next day was spent going over the files with a fine tooth comb. Allen focused his attention on the medical records, wanting to know every minute detail of how the new development affected his body. Kanda sat with him, a permanent frown etched on his face as he read the accounts of the experiments. As familiar as he was with the Order's cruelty, it was still surprising to him that more than half of the exorcists involved in the decades-long project died as a result of it.

The project started over fifty years earlier, when a male parasite-type exorcist started showing the symptoms of pregnancy. Medical tests revealed that he was indeed pregnant. The man and his exorcist lover were slated to be executed for homosexuality after the baby was born. But when the baby was born with a parasitic Innocence, the execution was cancelled: one of the superiors got the idea to see if all male parasite-types were capable of bearing new accommodators.

Over the course of the next twenty years, twenty five male exorcists were coerced or blackmailed into joining the project: eight parasite-types, and seventeen equipment-types. The equipment-types would be tossed aside if they failed to impregnate their assigned mate or if the resulting child wasn't an accommodator. The parasite-types were stuck until they died or they reached an age where they were considered too old to bear children.

Fourteen babies were born because of the project, thirty if you included miscarriages and stillbirths, and only three turned out to be accommodators. The project was finally shelved when one of the scientists figured out that they were losing more accommodators than they were creating: eighteen of the exorcists involved had died, either by suicide or from medical complications, and only three new ones had been born.

Allen and Kanda were thoroughly disgusted by what they were reading. But the thing that disturbed Allen the most was how familiar it all sounded. The pregnancy symptoms described in the files were all things he had been feeling over the past few months. He had convinced Kanda that the vomiting was because of a stomach flu, but now he wasn't so sure. Every new thing he read was saying that Komui hadn't gotten the information to them soon enough.

Kanda knew something was bothering Allen, but he let it go. It was probably just the brat's kind-hearted nature reacting to the awful things they were reading.

.x.x.

The pair sitting in front of Komui had the expressions he expected them to have: Kanda looked pissed and Allen looked depressed. A little _too_ depressed actually. Maybe giving him those files wasn't such a great idea.

"There isn't really anything more for us to talk about, you both know firsthand that the Order is no stranger to human experimentation, so you know that everything you read is true. I just wanted to make sure you understand the severity of what could possibly happen." Komui waited for the two to nod before he continued. "I can't order you to not get pregnant, that's not something you can control. And you're married, so I can't order you to not have sex. So will you at least _promise_ to do everything you can to make sure it doesn't happen?"

When Allen spoke, his voice was so quiet that the other two almost missed what he said. "Actually... I think it ... already has..."

"Hmm? What's already happened?" Komui had no clue what the young man was trying to say.

Allen's gaze dropped to his lap. He summoned all his courage to say the words that terrified him. "... I think I'm pregnant."

You could have heard a pin drop, the others were so shocked. Allen's unshed tears were audible when he explained. "All those symptoms that were described in the reports, I've had almost all of them over the past couple months. The vomiting finally stopped about two weeks ago..."

Kanda rolled his eyes. _So_ that's _what was bothering the Moyashi_. "Relax, Moyashi. That doesn't mean anything. You're just overreacting."

Komui wasn't quite so sure. He moved swiftly over to Allen and knelt beside him. Paying no attention to the young man's personal space, the Supervisor quickly opened Allen's shirt and placed a hand against his bared midsection. The skin was firm to the touch. It wasn't his imagination; the young man did have a bit of a bump there. "You said the morning sickness has already passed? What about the other symptoms? Any mood swings? Back pain? Indigestion? Issues with any particular foods?"

A snicker from Kanda interrupted the Supervisor's panicked rant. "The way he eats there'd be no way to tell."

Komui didn't have the patience for the samurai's attempt at humor. "You're his husband. You're supposed to notice these things. Yet you didn't notice that he was throwing up or that he's gained weight around the middle?"

"I did!" Kanda was highly insulted by the insinuation that he wasn't a good husband. "He said it was a stomach bug, and it passed, there was no reason to believe it was anything else. Also, he eats ten times as much as a normal person; I just figured it was finally catching up to him."

"And what about the other symptoms?" Komui challenged Kanda intentionally; he'd get more accurate answers out of the samurai than out of Allen.

"He cries a lot, but the Moyashi's a crybaby." Kanda rolled his eyes. "And he's irritable, but he's always irritable around me. And as far as pain goes: since when does that brat ever tell anyone that he's in pain?"

"Yuuuu..." Allen whined at the semi-insults his spouse gave.

Kanda huffed, his personal version of an exasperated sigh. He hadn't been lying when he said he wanted to get Allen pregnant, but the timing on this was too weird. "Yes, his back sometimes bothers him. He hasn't said anything, but I can tell from the way he moves. Plus sometimes giving him a back rub is the only way to get him to _finally_ shut up and fall asleep."

Komui hummed and made other thinking noises as he continued to feel around Allen's belly. The symptoms combined with what his fingers were feeling... It wasn't surprising that Allen had reached the conclusion that he was pregnant; it was Komui's best guess too. But what bothered him most was that the young man's morning sickness had already stopped. It most likely meant that he had miscarried.

Allen felt himself pulled from his chair. He tried to fight it, but Komui dragged him to the infirmary. Kanda watched with a mixture of amusement and concern as Komui and the doctors ran test after test on his husband.

It seemed like forever before the test results came back, but not even half an hour had passed. Komui almost laughed at what he saw on the report. "Allen, you're not just pregnant, you're fourteen weeks pregnant. With twins."

Kanda was speechless. As much as he wanted it, he hadn't expected it to actually be true. And then to have _that_ piled on top of it... How were he and the Moyashi supposed to raise _two_ babies?

"Twins?!" Allen's voice cracked when he said that word. "Twins means two, right? And how is 'fourteen weeks' important?"

"Yes Allen, there are two babies inside you." Komui smiled slightly at the way that made Allen squeak. "And 'fourteen weeks' is how long they've been there. It means that the entire first trimester of your pregnancy has already passed. It's impressive that your babies are as healthy as they are, given that you went so long without knowing. Honestly, with your fighting style, you should have miscarried them."

Allen tried to talk, but no words came out. He was too overwhelmed. Komui smiled gently at him. "You've got twenty six weeks left of your pregnancy, probably a little less since twins are usually born early. In the meantime-"

"No missions. No training. Be careful with what I eat. Drink lots of water. Etcetera. I read the files." Allen smiled weakly. He wrapped his arms protectively around his middle. "Is this really happening? Am I really pregnant with twins?"

"You are."

"And do I really have to keep them?" One was ok. Mostly. He could handle one. In theory. And Kanda wanted one. That was how he'd been able to accept that he was pregnant without putting up a fight. But two...

The mixture of stress and panic in Allen's voice made Komui's heart ache. "Allen. Listen to me carefully." The Supervisor sat on the bed beside the young man. He placed a hand on his knee. "I'll be honest with you, if you were only carrying one, things would be different, but with twins there's only a fifty-fifty chance that even one of them will live."

Allen's eyes were wide with horror. Now that Komui had said it, he remembered reading that in the reports. It scared him more than he already was. Komui kept talking. "And to top it all off, you missed the entire first trimester. It's somewhat of a miracle that you haven't already lost them. You need to be prepared for the possibility that that could still happen. The cold hard truth is that you may never get to hold either of your babies."

Silence followed that last sentence. Komui smiled awkwardly. "I have no doubt that you'll beat the odds though, Allen. Which leads me back to your question. You never knew your parents; you grew up on the streets. Your husband's childhood memories are of scientists and laboratories. Lenalee was a young child when our parents died. Lavi-"

"What's your point?" Kanda finally found his voice. He was tired of listening to Komui ramble on like that. And the mention of their lost comrade actually upset him a little.

Komui sighed. "My point is that you of all people should know that your babies deserve to know their parents. They deserve a chance to be cared for by the people whose love created them. _Especially_ if one or both of your babies are accommodators. The-"

"Fuck!" Kanda's loud curse interrupted Komui's lecture. "Those damn bastards knew all along, didn't they?"

Allen finally tore his gaze from his lap. "What are you talking about? Who's 'they'?

"Central." The samurai practically spat the word. "They knew about that damn project all along. They allowed us to get married because they knew the Moyashi would get pregnant with an accommodator."

"What made you jump to that conclusion?" Komui's initial confusion faded as he spoke. It really wasn't weird for the higher ups to have an ulterior motive.

"It was in those records." Kanda's next words made the other two freeze. "The only Innocence-compatible babies born during that damn project were born to the one homosexual couple. It isn't that big of a leap to figure that any child the Moyashi and I have would be too."

.x.x.

Allen and Kanda ran into Lenalee as they were leaving the infirmary. She immediately flew into a panic at seeing them there and rushed over to them. "What's going on? Are you two okay?"

"You may as well tell her. She'll pester you until you do. I'll meet you back at the room." Kanda laughed at the look on Allen's face and kissed the top of his head before he left.

"Kanda!" Lenalee called after him, but he didn't stop. When she turned back to Allen, he was looking at the ground and his hair was obscuring his face. "Allen? What's wrong?"

He sighed and leaned back against the wall. He was dreading telling her, but Kanda was right. "You remember that thing we talked about yesterday? Well, I am."

Lenalee blinked at him, trying to figure out what he was referring to with his cryptic statement. He merely waited in silence for her to put it together. Her eyes suddenly flew wide open. "You don't mean...!"

Allen sighed again. "Yes. I'm ...pregnant." That word was still hard to say. But he was just going to have to suck it up and get used to it. It was going to be true for the next six months after all.

She squealed and pulled him into a tight hug. "Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!"

He stared at her critically as he pushed her away. "What happened to 'that would be too weird'?"

"I changed my mind. That's allowed, isn't it?" She punched him lightly on the shoulder. "I want to see you and Kanda attempt to take care of a baby. It's going to be hilarious."

He glared at her and she laughed. "So, how far along are you? ... And were you lying to me the other day?"

Allen frowned at her. "I wasn't lying, I just didn't know yet."

She nodded. "And...?"

"Fourteen weeks."

Lenalee's eyes went even wider. "But that's three months! It took you three months to figure out you were pregnant?!"

Allen snorted and shook his head at her. "If Komui hadn't found those files when he did, I might not have figured it out for another three months."

"Oh. Right. It's not like you knew to suspect that." To break the tense atmosphere, she smiled brightly. "Is it a boy or a girl?"

Her attempt didn't work. Allen merely sighed again. "Komui says it'll be another six weeks before we can know that. And that even then it may not work."

"What do you mean?"

Allen sighed again. "Apparently having twins makes it more difficult to read their genders."

Lenalee nodded in agreement, but stopped abruptly when she realized what he'd just said. "Twins?! You're having twins?!"

"Yeah."

She hugged him tightly again. But this time she didn't let him go when he squirmed. Eventually he gave up and just stood there. "Will you let go?"

"No." She could feel Allen's slight baby bump through their hug, and while it was a bit weird, it was fascinating.

When Allen finally escaped, he went straight to his room. He collapsed on the bed without even acknowledging Kanda's presence. The samurai joined him, leaning back against the headboard. He nudged and pulled on his husband until Allen caved and situated himself in the other's lap.

Kanda kissed the back of Allen's neck as he unbuttoned his shirt and placed his hands on Allen's belly. "You're going to be okay, Moyashi. I know you're overwhelmed, so if you need to cry or faint or whatever, do it. But know that I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to be here for you and our children."

He couldn't help grinning at that phrase and the feel of the bump under his hands. It was happening fast, and there were so many risks involved, but he was thrilled all the same.

"Don't touch me like that." Allen shoved his husband's hands away with a heavy sigh. He couldn't deny that there was a small part of him that wanted to intentionally miscarry the babies. But he knew he wouldn't: no matter how much he didn't want to be pregnant or to raise babies, he desperately wanted them to live. It was terrifying to think that there was a possibility they'd die while they were still inside of him. Even Kanda and Komui knew his feelings: Allen had already been told that if things went wrong the doctors' orders were to ignore his protests and save his life over the babies.

Kanda smiled at his husband's attempts and moved his hands back to Allen's belly. Not even a moping Moyashi could ruin his mood. "I'm sorry I teased you about gaining weight, Moyashi. I wouldn't have done it if I'd known you were pregnant. It's amazing that this little bump is from our babies growing inside you."

When Allen's response was silence, Kanda kissed him again and continued talking. "Moyashi, you're going to be an excellent parent. I'll ...try, but you're just going to take right to it. And we're not going to be doing it alone. Lenalee will name herself their aunt and she'll literally beg to babysit. Teidoll is going to be ecstatic to have grandchildren. He'll dote on them and you. Komui, Jerry, the scientists, everyone here who loves you is going to love these babies. Even those who avoid you because you married _me_ will fawn over your pregnant belly. It makes me sick just thinking about it."

That last sentence got a slight chuckle. And Allen had to admit that he did feel a little better. He was in over his head, but he wasn't alone. "That doesn't change the fact that I don't want them."

"And it shouldn't." Kanda had known that that would come up, so he'd been planning his answer. "You need to give it time. One day you'll wake up and realize that you love them, and then you're going to want to never let go of them. But it has to happen on its own; you can't force yourself to want them just because I do. And if it never happens, that's ok too. There's no shame in not getting attached to something that you know you're going to lose."

Kanda sighed when Allen whimpered at those words. "Moyashi, you heard what Komui said: the odds are that we'll lose at least one of the babies. So if you want to wait until they're born to decide you want them, that's fine. But I know you. You're going to grow so attached to our unborn babies that you're going to be completely devastated if you lose one."

Allen glared at his husband. But that only made Kanda laugh. "Don't worry about it right now, Moyashi. Just go to sleep or something."

Allen laughed, but was asleep the second he closed his eyes. He was so emotionally exhausted that he slept all the way through to the next morning.

.x.x.

Allen and Kanda sat at the breakfast table with Lenalee and some of the other exorcists. A very focused glare aimed at the Chinese woman told her to keep her mouth shut; they wouldn't be answering any of her questions. Allen tried to act like his usual self, but the knowledge that he was pregnant was making it hard.

And then Komui came into the cafeteria. He stood in the doorway, and cleared his throat to get everyone's attention. When the room grew quiet, he spoke. "I have an announcement to make."

Allen immediately looked at the Supervisor in a panic. Their eyes locked briefly, and it confirmed Allen's fears. "Komui, don't you dare."

The protest was heard, but ignored. Allen whimpered as he pulled on his hood and lay his head on the table, his arms wrapped tightly around his middle. He desperately wished he was anywhere else. "Our resident married couple is expecting their first child."

Confused whispers filled the room. Everyone knew that Komui was talking about Allen and Kanda. Someone spoke up from the back. "Could you please explain that better? It kind of sounds like you're saying that one of those two _men_ is pregnant."

"I am." Everyone had expected Komui to correct him. "Specifically, Allen Walker-Kanda is fourteen weeks pregnant."

All eyes turned to Allen, who groaned and tried to hide more. Kanda, with a permanent glare fixed on Komui, pulled his husband onto his lap and let the white haired man bury his face in his chest. Those nearest to the pair saw the tears in Allen's eyes. And it all proved that what the Supervisor had said was true.

A different voice came from the crowd. "How is that possible?"

Komui forced himself to look anywhere but at Kanda, though he could continue to feel the Japanese man's murderous gaze. "To put it simply, Allen is the host of a parasitic Innocence. And because he is a male in a homosexual relationship, that Innocence changed his body to make it possible for him to get pregnant."

All but five people murmured statements of shock or awe. Allen was crying. Lenalee was trying to calm him down. Kanda was still glaring murder at Komui. And Krory and Timothy, the Order's other two male parasite-types, looked and felt like their heads were about to explode. Not only had they just learned that Allen, one of their best _male_ friends, was pregnant, but they also learned that it was possible for the same thing to happen to them.

Three things happened all at once: Kanda picked up Allen, ready to storm out, Krory fainted, and... Leverrier stepped into the cafeteria.

Allen's tears stopped immediately as burning anger replaced humiliation in a heartbeat. His mood swings were out in full force that morning. Fortunately for Leverrier (and unfortunately for everyone else), Kanda was oblivious to Allen's sudden switch and kept his hold on his husband.

The blond man cleared his throat. He looked straight at Allen with an expression of contempt; it was clear he was disgusted with idea of a pregnant man. "As of this moment, Allen Walker-Kanda's status as an exorcist is revoked. We have reason to believe that the child he is carrying is Innocence compatible, and so, until the child is born, Walker's primary duty will be to make sure nothing happens to it."

Komui gave Leverrier an odd look before turning back to the crowd. "What Secretary Leverrier means to say is that Allen will be placed on maternity leave until he has recovered from his pregnancy and his child is old enough to be away from him, at which point he will resume his duties as an exorcist."

Leverrier openly sneered at Allen. "Now, Walker, if you would come with us..."

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"I said no." Allen worked himself free of Kanda's grasp and approached Leverrier. "I had a complete medical exam yesterday. Hevlaska can't tell if a baby is a potential accommodator until it's over a year old. Which means that you want to lecture me about getting pregnant. To which the only thing I have to say is: I'm **_married_**. What I do when I'm alone with my husband is none of your damn business. If you didn't want me to end up like this then you shouldn't have approved our marriage."

The entire cafeteria applauded when he finished talking. Allen stalked out of the room with his head held high. Kanda followed after him with a smirk on his face; he knew it was the hormones that made Allen act like that, but it was nice to see the brat show his backbone.

.x.x.

The next six months passed far too slowly for Allen. He wanted nothing more than to no longer be pregnant. Initially it was because he never wanted to be pregnant in the first place, but as Kanda had predicted, Allen soon loved his babies so much that he couldn't wait to hold them in his arms.

Komui's warnings of miscarriage were never completely forgotten; they haunted Allen's dreams, turning them into nightmares in which he watched his children die. But despite all that, Allen was determined to see his pregnancy through to the end, with both of his babies alive and well.

For the bystanders at the Order, the most intriguing part of Allen's pregnancy was watching him turn into an overprotective mother. The bigger his belly got, the more he fawned over the babies inside it. It was even more fascinating than watching the fierce and stoic Kanda Yuu play the doting husband.

Between carrying twins and his slender frame, Allen's belly was a sight to see. But he was strong and stubborn, if the added weight slowed him down, no one but Kanda would ever know. And he did know. He knew that Allen was physically miserable, but he also knew that the white haired young man was so in love with his unborn children that he didn't care.

The event that really changed Allen's attitude towards his pregnancy happened when he was about twenty one weeks along. And it scared everyone who was around. He was having lunch in the cafeteria, when he suddenly burst out crying in the middle of the meal. No one knew what had happened or what to do. They had learned early on that trying to intervene with one of Allen's mood swings only caused more problems. All they could do was wait for him to stop crying. But he never did.

And that was how Lenalee found him when she returned from her latest mission: sitting in the cafeteria, silently sobbing and rubbing his belly. She knew from one glance that whatever was going on was deeper than hormones. Approaching him carefully, she sat beside him and placed a hand on his knee. "Allen? What's wrong?"

It wasn't until he looked up at her that she could see they were happy tears. He didn't say anything, just pulled her hand off his knee and placed it on his belly. Her eyes went wide; he didn't let anyone other than Kanda touch him like that. And then she felt what he was showing her, and she couldn't help crying alongside him. The feeling of one of his unborn babies kicking the spot where her hand rested was overwhelming. She wrapped her white haired friend in as tight a hug as she could without removing her hand from his belly.

Those first kicks changed Allen's mindset completely. He was surprised to find that he could already tell the difference between the twins; he knew which kicks belonged to his son and which ones came from his little girl. And it brought him to tears.

The babies stopped kicking, but Allen didn't stop crying. Lenalee may not have been told any of the details of Allen's pregnancy, but she was observant enough to have at least picked up that he hated what was happening to him. And as such, she knew that the real cause of his emotional breakdown wasn't solely the joy of feeling the babies' first movements. She gently coaxed him to his feet and towards his room; he needed privacy.

They met up with Kanda in the hall just outside the cafeteria. He took the crying Moyashi from the Chinese woman without a word, and the couple returned to their room.

.x.x.

Komui had been monitoring Allen's growth, weight gain, and other various vital signs ever since they'd learned of his pregnancy. And what he was seeing wasn't good. Allen was consistently and severely underweight. No matter what or how much the young man ate they couldn't get him up to a healthy weight.

And that was just the tip of the iceberg.

Blood tests revealed that his hormone levels also weren't where they should be. Even when compared to the records from the past, and thus to other male pregnancies, Allen's results were all over the place; one day they'd be too low, and two days later they'd be too high. Attempts were made to make Allen less stressed, with the idea that that would correct his hormone imbalance. But all it did was make him more stressed; and the emotional stress from not being allowed to do things was far worse than the physical stress of doing them.

There were also concerns over Allen's heart. The fainting spell in Komui's office that first day hadn't been an isolated incident; Allen fainted almost once a week throughout the rest of his pregnancy. Komui did some tests and determined that the trauma his heart had suffered in the past, combined with the stress put on his heart by carrying twins, was affecting Allen's blood pressure and complicating his pregnancy.

All in all, there was now a ninety percent chance that Allen would miscarry at least one of his babies, and a sixty five percent chance he'd lose them both. And the odds were good that he'd experience a premature labor as well.

Bak Chan was brought in for a second opinion, and what he had to add scared Allen to the core. The Asian Branch Supervisor was surprised that Kanda had been able to get Allen pregnant in the first place. He admitted that he didn't know all the details of the Second Exorcist project, but he hadn't thought Kanda's sperm would be genetically viable. It didn't seem like something the scientists would have been concerned with when they were creating his artificial body.

More tests were done, this time on Kanda as well as Allen and the babies. Fortunately, Bak was proven wrong. Kanda's genetically altered body had nothing to do with the complications of Allen's pregnancy. If anything, it was most likely the reason the white haired young man hadn't miscarried back in his first trimester.

.x.x.

Allen literally looked ready to pop. The twins were full term. He could go into labor any day now. Not only had he not miscarried, but Allen was now forty weeks pregnant. It was nothing short of a miracle that all three had made it that far. Unfortunately, it also meant that Allen was more miserable than he'd ever been.

He didn't get out of bed for anything other than to eat or use the bathroom. And he needed help with even those most basic tasks; Kanda hadn't left his side in weeks. Allen tried not to take his frustrations out on the samurai, but the imbalanced hormones in his system made the mood swings difficult to control. The two were barely getting along anymore.

At lunch one day, someone finally asked the question that had been bothering everyone for the past few weeks. "So how exactly are those babies supposed to get out of you, Allen?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you're a man, right? You can't exactly give birth. So is the Supervisor planning to cut you open when the time comes? Or is there something else?"

Allen blushed, not that anyone could tell, his whole body was flushed with exhaustion. "Why do you want to know?"

This time it was Lenalee who spoke. "It just seems to us that if the plan was to surgically remove the babies, my brother could have done that already, and then you wouldn't be so miserable. Is he waiting for you to go into labor first?"

The question was rhetorical, but Allen nodded. Lenalee's eyes widened and she reached across the table to place a hand on Allen's. "Why?!"

He pulled his hand away and began rubbing the side of his swollen belly. His gaze dropped to his plates, and he remained silent. It was Kanda who spoke. "Che. You're wrong on something obvious. The Innocence that changed the Moyashi's body so that he could get pregnant also made it possible for him to give birth."

Allen's sigh filled the stunned silence that followed. He shifted slightly in his seat, trying to move his focus away from that spot between his legs. The birth canal had formed and opened two months earlier, and he was much too aware of it. "We're waiting for me to go into labor, because that _is_ how the babies will be getting out of me."

"But couldn't they do the surgery anyway?"

Allen's frown deepened. "Only as an absolute last resort. It's far too risky. Doing so could kill the babies, and it _would_ kill me. Giving birth is really my only choice." He didn't have the heart to tell them that a natural birth was almost as risky.

Lenalee blinked at her heavily pregnant friend for a moment before she was struck with an idea. She turned to the rest of the people in the room. "Does anyone know any tricks to make labor start?"

Everyone began shouting out their ideas. Someone produced paper and a pencil, and everything was scribbled down. When the chaos died down, Allen was given a list of a couple dozen old wives' tales for inducing labor. It contained everything from eating spicy food to sex. He frowned at the list before passing it to Kanda. "Really Lenalee? You think these will work?"

She laughed at his disbelief, though she wouldn't have been so jovial if she had been told just how dangerous Allen's pregnancy was. "Who knows? But it's better than sitting around waiting, right?"

"I guess." He sighed and pushed his empty dishes away from him. They were immediately whisked away by the observers.

When Kanda was done eating, he helped Allen up and they walked back to their room. Now completely alone, they pulled out the list and read through it. Most of it seemed stupid to the two men. Especially the ones centered around eating certain foods. Allen's stomach was a bottomless pit, how was eating that one little thing going to make a difference?

They had a good laugh about it. But then one of the babies started kicking, and Allen's good mood went out the window. And as such, he immediately began pushing Kanda's buttons. The samurai was trying to be understanding, but the brat was making it hard.

Kanda turned his attention from his obnoxious husband to the list and back again. One particular item had caught his attention. He didn't even remotely think it would work, but it was the only thing worth trying. And if all else failed it would at least put Allen in a better mood.

He helped Allen up from the couch and led him to the bedroom. "What are you doing, Bakanda?"

Kanda laughed as he helped Allen onto the bed. "I'm trying to help you get comfortable, Moyashi."

Allen snorted and winced, before reclining back against the pillows Kanda had placed for him. "If you really want to help, make your brats stop kicking me."

The samurai smiled inwardly, whenever Allen got especially irritated he'd deny ownership of the babies; it was very amusing. He placed a kiss on the swollen belly. "Does that help?"

"Of course not." Allen rolled his eyes.

Kanda snickered then went back to his plan. He sat at the foot of the bed and pulled Allen's feet onto his lap. The young man's shoes and socks were removed. His complaint of "Now my feet are cold!" was forgotten when Kanda began to massage his swollen feet and ankles.

The babies were still kicking, but his feet felt better than they had in weeks. And Kanda didn't stop there. When he was done with Allen's feet, he had his husband roll onto his side so that he could rub his back. The tense muscles relaxed so slightly under his touch, it didn't feel like he was doing anything. But to Allen it felt like heaven. He could feel his stress melting away.

Kanda rubbed his back all the time during his pregnancy, but never like that. Never with that much patience and attention. Allen was practically a puddle of goo when he was done.

Of course, that's when his water broke.

The young man winced as he felt the fluid trickle out of him. And the contraction that followed made the twins' kicking seem like cute little taps.

Kanda was startled by Allen's sudden scream. But he quickly understood what was happening. He carefully helped Allen sit up and get off the bed.

It took fifteen minutes for the pair to reach the door to the hall. The contractions were making it hard for Allen to walk. It was at that point that Kanda ran out of patience and picked the stubborn man up.

Allen objected to being carried, but Kanda didn't care about his pride. All that mattered was getting him to the infirmary.

.x.x.

When Allen's dinner time rolled around, Lenalee headed to the cafeteria. She was excited to help him try to induce his labor. He would fight it, but that would only make it more fun.

But Allen and Kanda weren't at their usual table. She initially thought she missed them, but after a quick talk with Jerry, she learned that they hadn't come down yet. She debated going to check on them, but that would only make Kanda mad. So instead, she grabbed some food and waited for them to come down on their own.

An hour later, Lenalee's dinner had been finished, but Allen and Kanda were still nowhere to be seen. She put her dishes away and then went to find them.

The path to their room was empty, but when she knocked, she got no answer. That was really strange; there wasn't anywhere else they would be. She knocked again; maybe they just didn't hear her.

When there was still no answer, she tried the door. It was unlocked and opened right away. Lenalee went inside, and looked around. It was dark and quiet. The two men weren't there, and there was nothing to indicate where they had gone.

She went back out to the hall to think of places they might have gone (she didn't want to be caught inside; they'd accuse her of snooping). The library and the garden seemed like her best bets.

Both spots turned up empty. And the people there hadn't seen either of them. It was over an hour of wandering before Lenalee happened to walk by the infirmary. The screams coming from inside scared her. But between the screams she heard what could only be Allen and Kanda bickering. She felt stupid. Of course Allen had missed dinner, he'd gone into labor.

She went into the reception area right as Kanda was leaving one of the private rooms. He gave her the briefest of glances then sat down in a chair. She smiled. "Did Allen kick you out?"

He rolled his eyes. "The nurse did. She thinks my presence is hindering his progress."

Lenalee smirked. "You mean she couldn't take any more of the two of you cussing at each other."

When Kanda only scowled more, she changed the subject. "How long has it been?"

He shrugged. "What time is it?"

"About eight thirty."

Kanda sighed heavily; he suddenly looked and felt exhausted. "Then it's been about seven hours."

Lenalee's eyes briefly widened. "You two tried something off that list, didn't you?"

The samurai snorted, but didn't respond. She took his 'you're an idiot' as a 'yes'. "What was it? Oh, I know! You two had sex! That's it, isn't it?!"

Kanda wanted to throw something at her, but there was nothing in range, so he had to settle for telling her to shut up. But that only egged her on. When Kanda couldn't take any more (which was only about ten seconds later), he caved and told her. "We never made it that far. His water broke before we even got started."

They were interrupted by a particularly loud scream. When it passed, Lenalee changed the subject. "So how much longer does he have to go?"

"Don't know."

"Kanda!"

"Che." He rolled his eyes at her tone. "The nurse said she'd come get me when it was time for him to start pushing."

And three hours later, she did. The first of their babies was born as the clock struck midnight. Allen and Kanda had a healthy and beautiful baby girl.

To Allen's horror, the contractions started up again immediately, he was given no time to rest. But that was the least bad of all the bad things that would happen that night.

The baby was breech. The doctors tried to correct it, but there were problems. One thing after another started going wrong. There was too much blood. They needed to keep Allen calm, ideally by drugging him and knocking him out, but Kanda wasn't going to let that happen without a fight, so he was given his newborn daughter and kicked out of the room once again.

In the end, there was nothing anyone could do: saving Allen's life was more important than saving the baby. Allen and Kanda's son was dead before he left his mother's body.

.x.x.

Kanda sat at his husband's bedside, cradling their daughter in his arms. The medication was wearing off, and Allen would be waking up soon. It had been decided the night before that Kanda would be the one to break the bad news to him. He still didn't know what to say. He didn't even know how he felt about the whole thing.

When Allen woke, he was really groggy. He didn't notice Kanda or the baby girl. His whole body hurt, especially the muscles around his middle and that spot between his legs. But the weight in his stomach was gone; it was a relief to no longer feel so heavy. No thought was given as to why. He blinked his eyes open, but the light was too bright and he had to close them again.

Kanda saw his husband's eyelids flutter and knew he was awake. He sighed. "Moyashi."

"Hmm?" Allen's eyelids fluttered again. He knew there was a reason he needed to be awake, but he couldn't recall it.

The way Allen was acting would have normally made Kanda smile, but he was in no mood for that. "Moyashi. Wake up."

"I'm awake." Allen's silver eyes stared at the ceiling. "...Mostly. What happened? Why does my body hurt so much?"

Kanda snorted at the question. "You gave birth last night, remember?"

"Oh... right." Allen blinked a few times. He recalled the screaming and the pain. Then the doctors started freaking out. And then there was nothing. "Are ... the babies ... ok?"

"Moyashi." Kanda sighed heavily. "Allen. Do you remember what Komui said back when we first learned you were pregnant?"

"Hmm?" Allen could not figure out what Kanda was talking about. But he was now awake enough to be aware of how deadly silent everything else was; combined with Kanda's reluctance to answer his question, it put him on edge. "No, I don't."

"Come on, Moyashi. He's also said it at every appointment." Kanda was starting to lose his patience; Allen was just too good at irritating him.

Kanda wanted Allen to say it himself, but when the brat remained silent, he had to say it for him. "'Don't get too attached, the odds are that babies aren't going to make it.'"

That woke Allen the rest of the way up. That was why it was so quiet. All that work was for nothing. His babies were dead. He started sobbing uncontrollably. It took several minutes for him to collect himself enough to form words. "Then our children are both..."

"No." The word made Allen's sobs abruptly stop. "Not both."

"What...?" Allen finally turned to look at his husband, silent tears still falling from his eyes. The silver orbs widened as he caught sight of the bundle in Kanda's arms.

The samurai smiled at Allen, holding the little bundle out towards him. He watched the joy fill his husband's eyes, thankful his scheme had worked. Instead of being upset over their dead baby, Allen was focused on their living one. "Do you want to meet our daughter?"

Kanda helped Allen sit up and lean back against the pillows. He gently moved the blanket wrapped baby into her mother's arms. Now Allen was crying for a different reason. "She's gorgeous."

"She is." Kanda smiled as he sat beside Allen. He wrapped his arms around the young man, helping him support the newborn. "You did it, Moyashi. You beat the odds. You brought a perfectly healthy little girl into the world."

Allen sighed. "Yes, but I lost our son."

"I know you're sad, Allen, but we've known from the beginning that something like this was going to happen. And it wasn't your fault. You did everything you could." Kanda kissed the top of his head. "I wish you could see it my way..."

"And what would that be?" Allen was almost scared to ask; knowing Kanda it was probably something calloused.

"You're alive."

Allen blinked, unable to break his gaze on his daughter to examine his husband's expression. "Huh?"

"Moya- Allen. If I had lost you, our babies would have ended up orphans."

Completely shocked, Allen finally managed to look away from his baby. Kanda was sincere. "But- but I thought you wanted the babies."

"Not without you." It was hard for Kanda to say out loud. "I never wanted to even care about another person, but you've got me so dependent on you that I can't imagine life without you. Not even our children could change that."

Allen was speechless. Kanda smiled and kissed the top of his white hair. "You're allowed to grieve. I would never expect you to be ok with losing a child. You can cry all you want. But don't do anything stupid. I need you. Our daughter needs you. You wouldn't want to disappoint her, would you?"

As if on cue, the baby girl began to get fussy. Kanda smiled at the panicked look on Allen's face. "What do I do?"

The samurai almost laughed at the question, but then, he only knew the answer because the nurses had already explained it to him. "Feed her. You've been unconscious since she was born, she's hungry."

Allen continued to look panicked and clueless. This time Kanda did laugh. "I know you're still groggy from the drugs, but you can't have forgotten that embarrassing conversation already."

"Oh." Allen turned bright red as he remembered the day just a week earlier when Komui had to explain to him that he was lactating.

With Kanda's help, he managed to get his shirt open while still keeping his hold on his daughter. He maneuvered her to his chest, and she latched onto his nipple without any coaxing. The couple fell silent as they watched their newborn feed.

Looking at his daughter, Allen couldn't help thinking about her dead brother. It would take time to recover from the loss, but Kanda had a point. This fragile little girl needed him; she couldn't even eat without him. She could have easily been like her brother; the medical teams had all said she wouldn't survive the birth either. It was a miracle that he even had her. That's what he needed to focus on: her, his daughter, his little miracle. He could grieve for her brother, but only so long as it didn't affect his ability to care for her. She was his priority.

"So what are we going to name her?"

Kanda blinked at the unexpected question, but he quickly realized that it meant that he had gotten through to Allen. "Do we have to do that now?"

Allen smiled happily up at his husband. It wasn't exactly his real smile, it was marred by grief and exhaustion, but it was far from the fake one that Kanda was expecting to see. "If we don't name her before everyone comes to see her, they'll try to do it for us."

Kanda balked at the thought. "Right, we can't let that happen."

In typical Allen and Kanda fashion, they couldn't even agree on a name for the baby they had made together. Their bickering attracted the nurse on duty, and she rushed to check on them. The sight that greeted her was relieving. Allen wasn't crying. The newborn wasn't ignored, she was held securely in her mother's arms and being nursed. The nurse vanished before she was noticed, off to tell Komui that Allen was actually doing well; he hadn't rejected the baby like they all feared.

Eventually Allen proposed a compromise. Kanda was insistent that their daughter have a Japanese name. So Allen had him list out all the names he could think of, he'd stop his husband if he heard one he liked. "Wait. Go back one. 'Erica'?"

"Actually I said 'Eriko'."

"Oh." Allen was a little dejected. He'd liked that one.

Kanda smiled at his husband. "But 'Erika' could also be Japanese. It would use the kanji for 'flower' instead of the one for 'child'. And she's definitely a flower."

Allen kissed him, and then turned to the baby in his arms. He lightly stroked her tuft of navy hair. "Hi Erika."

She blinked at him, and it was like she approved of her name. Kanda smiled and kissed the top of Allen's head. "It's perfect."

A knock at the door interrupted them. Komui stuck his head inside cautiously. "Can I come in?"

The pair nodded and turned back to their little girl. Komui continued to be careful as he approached the bedside; like the nurse had said, Allen was indeed holding the baby willingly, but the Supervisor was still scared he might upset him. "The nurse said you two were fighting. Is everything ok?"

Allen smiled brightly at him. "Not fighting, just disagreeing. We were trying to pick out a name for our daughter."

Komui blinked at the completely unexpected answer. He turned a questioning gaze on Kanda. The samurai shrugged in response and wrapped his arms around Allen once again. "We talked. It'll take some time, but he's going to be ok. Right, Moyashi?"

Allen's smile fell and he dropped his gaze down to his baby. It wasn't until he saw the drops landing on Erika's face that he realized he was crying. "I still feel like I failed, but I'm going to appreciate the baby I do have. She needs me."

Kanda smiled. "You're getting her wet, Moyashi. Eri doesn't need a bath just yet."

Allen giggled just a little as he wiped his eyes on his sleeve. "Sorry. ... ...'Eri'?"

"Yeah, she's so little, I couldn't help shortening it." Kanda tried to keep his tone nonchalant; there was no telling how Allen would react to the nickname.

"Well it's better than 'Moyashi'." Allen scowled at his husband, but with his tear-stained face, it looked more like a pout.

Komui smiled at the interaction. "Well, if you're ready, everyone would like to come see her. I know Lenalee's been pestering everyone she can to let her in."

Allen frowned. "I..."

Kanda hugged him tighter. "Moyashi, it's ok to say no. They'll understand."

"I know." Allen sighed. "But I... I feel like I need to act as normally as possible. If I just hide here alone, I'll get depressed. But if I see everyone, then I can keep moving forward and begin to heal."

Komui smiled. Despite Allen's words, it was obvious that he didn't want to see anyone just yet. "Alright, but let's see how it goes with just Lenalee before you decide if you're ready to see everyone else."

When Allen didn't object, the Supervisor left the room and ushered his sister in. Lenalee was appropriately excited, though it was tinged with sadness and anger. The loss of her nephew hit her hard, and it was definitely an understatement to say that she was upset with Allen for not telling her that his pregnancy was so risky. But she kept all that to herself, Allen didn't need to see it. Instead, she fawned over Erika, constantly telling Allen that her niece was the most beautiful baby she had ever seen.

.x.x.

There was no funeral for Allen and Kanda's stillborn son. It was against the Order's regulations. Even a child that small could become one of the Earl's akuma.

Or at least that's what Komui and the new parents agreed to tell everyone.

The truth was that Allen didn't want one. He wanted to focus on Erika and move on with his life. And he couldn't do that if everyone was making a big deal over Nolan's death. The couple said goodbye to their son privately that first day in the infirmary, and then they put it behind them.

That's not to say that Nolan was forgotten, Allen's caring nature wouldn't allow that. And even Kanda had moments where he wondered what life would be like if Nolan had lived. But they refused to let grief take them. Like Kanda wanted, Allen focused his attention on Erika, latching on to the rationale that it was a miracle that they even had her. Having a newborn kept them both busy, and that was exactly what they needed.

But no one, except for maybe the late General Cross, could have predicted how quickly Allen recovered. In his twenty one years he had become quite the expert at handling loss, having lost so many of the people closest to him: Mana, Nahrain and Mina, Cross, and most recently, Lavi. Compared to them, a baby that died before he ever got to meet it was no big deal. Allen was back to business as usual before Erika was a month old.

That was four months ago. The now five month old Erika had been weaned off her mother's milk, and Allen was back in fighting shape. He didn't want to leave his little angel, but it was time to resume his duties. All that was left was a final medical exam and then he'd be assigned his first post-pregnancy mission.

It was a formality. Allen was obviously in perfect health, both physically and emotionally; he was even at a healthy weight for the first time in his life. The outcome was so expected that Komui had already picked out the young man's mission. The exam was right after breakfast, and Allen was going to leave before lunch.

That didn't happen. The doctors determined that Allen was unfit to return to duty.

Allen honestly didn't know what to make of the results. He was both disappointed to not be cleared and thrilled to be able to remain with his baby. Komui read irresponsibility into the results; he lectured Allen for a good half hour before he realized that there was no real reason to be upset with the young man.

Kanda returned from his latest mission to find Allen in the cafeteria, with Erika in his lap, when the Moyashi should have already left. He approached his family and kissed the top of Allen's head. "Not that I'm not happy to see you, but what the hell are you doing here, Moyashi? Weren't you supposed to be on a mission?"

Allen shrugged and tousled Erika's hair, making the girl giggle. "I didn't pass my physical."

The baby was taken from him to get him to focus; Kanda was less than happy with that revelation. "How could you not pass, Moyashi?"

"I'm pregnant."

Kanda nearly dropped Erika. The baby thought it was great fun and her laughter echoed through the cafeteria. He gaped at Allen who was beaming up at him. "It only happened two weeks ago, so the symptoms haven't started yet, but we're going to have another baby."

"Moyashi..."

Allen stood and took Eri back from her father. "It's only one. We caught it early this time, too. And I'm not underweight anymore. The odds of losing it are lower than the odds of _keeping_ Erika were. So there's no need for you to freak out, ok Yuu?"

"I'm not freaking out."

"Of course not." Allen snickered. The samurai concealed it well, but his husband knew him well enough to see through it. "I don't blame you for it though. It's so sudden. We only had Eri five months ago. I'm not sure I'm ready to be pregnant again. And-"

Kanda cut off his babbling with a kiss, Allen wasn't the only one who could read the other like a book. "Moyashi. Calm down. I'm not mad at you."

"You're not?" Allen blinked repeatedly. He was positive that Kanda would be pissed that he'd gotten pregnant.

"No, I'm not." Kanda laughed and kissed Allen again. "So if you want to be happy, go for it. You don't have to pretend for me."

Allen wrapped his arms around the samurai as best he could while holding the baby. The truth was that he was ecstatic to be having a second chance at being pregnant. He wasn't going to mess this one up. Even if he knew that losing Nolan wasn't his fault. "Thank you, Yuu. I love you."

"I love you too, Moyashi."

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

A/N: To everyone who was concerned about Lavi: I didn't intentionally plan for him to be dead in this story. It just happened to work out that way. I didn't realize until I was writing the ending to the story that Lavi wasn't in it. Including him in Allen's list of lost friends was simply the easiest way to explain where he was without having to rewrite everything.


	6. Story 6 - Escaping Secrets

Story 6: "Escaping Secrets"

Summary: With the war coming to an end, Lenalee is sad to be losing her friends. But how is she supposed to let saying goodbye to her best friend and her "brother"? And what are Allen and Kanda going to be doing now anyway?

Contains a Yullen Lemon. And to be clear up front, it's a flashback; Allen is not actually giving Lenalee the play-by-play.

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

The war was over. The Millennium Earl was dead, the Noah were gone, and the akuma and Innocence fragments were all destroyed. The final battle was tough, but we won. And even more surprising was that we all survived. There were lots of injuries, but that was nothing we couldn't recover from. My nakama were all alive. They may have been beaten and battered, but they were alive. Though some of the pieces were broken, my world was intact.

Allen was now blind in his left eye; with no more akuma in the world, his curse dissipated and left him without sight. He also lost the use of his left arm when the Innocence left it, but it was only paralyzed and he was confident that he would be able to learn to use it again. He refused to use the doctor recommended sling, saying that he wouldn't need it for long and he didn't want to grow dependent on it.

I was not nearly as confident as he was. Between my injuries and my Innocence, I had ended up completely paralyzed from the waist down, and I had lots of trouble believing that I would be able to walk again someday. While the prospect of spending the rest of my life in a wheelchair was depressing, it was still a brighter future than the war had offered me, so I didn't particularly mind. I was alive and that was all that mattered.

Lavi and Timothy were the last of the exorcists to recover from their wounds. The latter's Innocence had forced him into a coma when it vanished, and the boy spent six months asleep yet perfectly healthy. On the other hand, Lavi's coma was forced on him by the medical staff; he was in so much pain from his injuries that they had to force him into unconsciousness so that he would heal properly.

Kanda was ... I'm not really sure what happened to him in the final battle, but he was really messed up, far more than anyone else. Yet somehow, he not only completely recovered, but he did it faster than the rest of us. And while healing quickly had always been his thing, this was just weird. Based on what had happened to those of us with parasite/crystal type Innocence fragments, Kanda should have lost the use of his arms, but if that did happen, he recovered before anyone noticed. It was completely baffling, but that only slightly distracted me from my jealousy; it wasn't fair that he was perfectly fine while I would most likely never walk again.

With the war over, and the exorcists recovered, the Black Order was officially disbanded. The finders returned to their homes or went off in search of a new life. Some of the scientists did the same, but most followed my brother. Nii-san was partnering with the Head Nurse and the medical staff to start up a research hospital. The former science division would now be working towards medical advancements. I was going with them, as the whole point of their endeavor was to fulfill Komui's desire to help me walk again.

While most of the finders left right away, the exorcists all stayed at headquarters until the last of us had recovered. We discussed our plans and visions of the future, and while that was fun, it was bittersweet. We would be saying goodbye soon, and then I would most likely never see them again. I didn't want that day to come, but in spite of my wishes, time moved on.

Our last week at headquarters started with the wedding of Marie and Miranda. The pair had been unofficially courting since they met, unable to take things any further than that because of their positions as exorcists. With the war over, they were finally able to formalize their relationship, and after years of dating, they decided that they wanted to start their new life by being officially married.

It was a simple ceremony, but it was very beautiful. And as soon as it was over, the newlyweds left. Marie's parents were still alive, so he and his new wife would be going to live with them. There was a teaching job waiting there for Miranda, who was excited to apply her newfound confidence in the real world.

Lavi and Bookman left as soon as the wedding was over; they were off to find more history to record. Timothy and Emilia were the next to go; her father was finally able to fulfill his promise to make things right by adopting the boy. Over the next few days, everyone said their goodbyes and before long the only ones left at headquarters were me and my brother, Allen, Kanda, and the few scientists who were helping us with the last of the packing.

Neither Allen nor Kanda had ever said what they were planning to do next. No one could get Kanda to talk, which wasn't all that unusual, and Allen had always evaded the question with, "I thought the war would kill me; am I really supposed to know what I want already?"

These were the hardest people for me to say goodbye to. I'd only known Allen for a few years, but he was the best friend I had ever had. And Kanda was like an older brother to me; I had always been able to go to him for strength and support. Losing them was going to be heartbreaking.

I sat in my chair in the entrance hall by their suitcases, waiting for them to finish getting ready. It was weird that they were leaving together; after everything that had happened, they were friends, but they still hated each other. It was obvious even now from the way Kanda was impatiently tapping his foot as we waited for Allen. "Oi! Baka Moyashi! Hurry the fuck up already!"

"My name is Allen, Bakanda! And I've only got one working arm! I'm going as fast as I can!" The shouting was immediately followed by Allen walking into the room as he attempted to balance a box in his one good arm.

He set the box with the others, barely managing to avoid dropping it. Kanda scowled at him. "What the fuck took you so long? You packed that box yesterday."

Allen frowned at him. "I was trying to get dressed. That's hard with only one arm, you know!"

The words prompted me to look at Allen's clothing. He had attempted to put on his usual outfit instead of the tank top and sweats he'd been wearing since he'd lost the use of his arm. 'Attempted' being the operative word, as his tie was horribly crooked, he had missed a button on his vest, and his shirt was tucked in rather poorly.

Kanda snorted at Allen's attempt to dress himself. To my surprise, instead of teasing the younger, he stepped closer and fixed the messed up clothing with a gentleness that was completely out of character for the samurai. In a matter of seconds, Allen looked like his usual self. But as surprising as that was, what happened next was even weirder. Kanda took an inordinately long time straightening Allen's tie, and when he was done, he leaned in and kissed the white haired young man. And to give me an even greater shock, Allen kissed him back.

I gaped at the pair as they made out. Time stopped completely, and I couldn't tear my eyes from the scene. I had probably stopped breathing; my head was starting to swim and it felt like I might pass out. Or throw up. Either option was equally possible. I could do nothing but watch as two incredibly unlikely people touched each other in such an intimate way.

It was disgusting. And so very, very wrong. They were both men for heaven's sake! They shouldn't be touching each other like that!

I desperately wanted to look away, but I couldn't make my eyes listen to my brain. Instead, I was stuck staring at the awful sight.

But as I watched them make out, my shock and anger faded. Sure, it was weird and disturbing, but there was something perfect about it. Allen and Kanda somehow belonged with each other; they were clearly two halves of the same whole. And despite how perturbed I was, I had to admit that that was beautiful.

The moment was broken by my brother forcibly clearing his throat. "Boys! Cease that at once! That sort of thing is completely inappropriate!"

I jumped at his fierce tone. Allen turned bright red and let his legs fall from where they had been wrapped around Kanda's waist. He tried to back away from the samurai, but Kanda held him close as he glared at Komui.

There were a tense few seconds as I wondered what was going to happen next. It may have been my first time witnessing any sort of display of affection between two men, but I was well aware that homosexuality was forbidden. It was nail-biting wondering what my brother was going to do about this.

To my surprise, Komui only kept up his chastising stare for a moment before he shook his head and sighed. "You know you're not supposed to do that at headquarters. I thought we agreed that you would save the celebrating until we left this place behind. The war may be over, but it's still not safe here."

I blinked at my brother, completely confused by his words. The only part I understood was that Allen and Kanda had been together for awhile, and Komui had known about it. "What are you talking about?"

If I weren't so confused, the way all three men turned to look at me would have been comical. Clearly none of them had known that I was there.

Komui immediately freaked out at Allen and Kanda for kissing in front of me and tainting my purity. I sighed heavily, wishing I could still use my legs so that I could kick some sense into him. The freak out ended rather abruptly when Allen reminded my brother that he had lost the use of his cursed eye. "I'm still adjusting to being blind on my left side, Komui. I literally didn't see her there. Calm down."

Kanda's hand had strayed to his waist, reaching for his sword out of habit, but not finding it. It only made him glare more fiercely at Komui. He cut off Allen before the white haired young man could apologize. "You can't honestly expect us to not kiss in front of her, Komui. We're going to be seeing each other all the time. Not kissing in front of her is going to be impossible."

His comment sparked more whining from my brother, and I finally lost my patience. "Hey! I'm still lost here! Could you knock that off already and _please_ explain things to me?"

The three exchanged a few weird looks before Kanda shoved Allen in my direction. The white haired young man blushed bright red as he smiled awkwardly at me. "Sorry, Lena. I forgot that I was supposed to tell you this a couple days ago."

I blinked at him. "Tell me what?"

Allen's blush deepened and he bit his bottom lip. "Ah, well, you see..."

.x.x.

I woke up groggily and with a massive headache. It took me longer than I would have liked to remember what had happened the day before. Johnny and Kanda had somehow tracked me down, and they had dragged me to an inn when I passed out after the Fourteenth's attempt to take over.

That was where I was now, lying on sheets that were damp from my sweat, with a once cool, but now lukewarm cloth on my forehead. I blinked my eyes open and was surprised to find that it was dark, both in the room and through the open window. The light from the moon was the only light in the room.

I pushed myself into a sitting position, leaning heavily against the headboard of the bed; I wasn't awake enough to fully support myself. I took stock of the room as I pulled the rag from my forehead and set it aside. It was just a basic inn, though it was definitely on the cheaper side. Johnny was nowhere to be seen, but Kanda was seated in a chair at the foot of the bed.

The samurai was watching me intently with an unreadable expression on his face. He made no move to acknowledge that I was awake, so I broke the silence first. My voice was hoarse and I had to swallow a few times before it came out normally. "How long was I out?"

"A little over twenty four hours." That was relieving to hear; I had been worried that it had been a few days.

Silence fell between us again, and I used the time to study the man in front of me. He was as attractive as ever, with only the subtle moonlight to illuminate his chiseled features, and I felt like kicking myself for still harboring that juvenile crush on him. Even now that I knew his past, Kanda remained a mystery. I would never have expected that he would be the one to come after me, it just wasn't his style. Before I knew it, the question just slipped from my lips. "Why did you come back?"

Expecting him to scoff at me, it was more than a little weird that he turned his gaze on the opposite wall, giving me a glimpse of the embarrassed expression on his face in the process. "To make amends. I saw the Noah in you awaken in Paris, and I ignored it. I wanted the Order to suffer for what it put me through, but I didn't realize that I was hurting you too. I came back to make things right and try to help you fight off that bastard Noah."

I sighed as I stared at the back of his head, and the gorgeous inky blue strands of his ponytail. His words were touching, but they did not make me feel better. "You're too late."

Kanda turned sharply back towards me at the words, and the look on his face was frightening. I sighed heavily. "I'm losing. He's getting stronger and I won't be able to resist for much longer. It's only a matter of days before he'll have worn me down enough to take over. You should have just stayed away."

My bitter tone was responded to with a smirk that sent chills down my spine. "I knew you'd say that, Baka Moyashi."

He moved from his chair to sit next to me on the mattress. Then he leaned close and got in my face. I tried to back away, but couldn't because of the headboard I was propped against. I was caught so off guard by his closeness that I couldn't even protest against that stupid nickname. "The way I see it, Moyashi, you just don't have a good enough reason for living."

I blinked at him. Once I got over how close he was and could focus on what he had said, his words pissed me off. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

To my surprise, he didn't back away at my outburst, but rather leaned in so close that our noses were touching. I stared into his eyes, the cobalt almost glowing in the moonlight. And then, instead of explaining himself, he closed the distance between us with a kiss.

It took a moment to collect myself and shove him away. The kiss was good, every bit as wonderful as I imagined it being, on the rare occasion where I had let myself imagine such a thing, and I wanted it to last forever. But this was wrong. There was no plausible reason for why Kanda would be kissing me at all, let alone right now.

As much as I wanted to see the expression on his face, I couldn't make myself look at him. "What the hell was that?"

"Che." There was the scoffing I had expected earlier, but it was so weird to hear it in that moment. "It was a kiss, Moyashi. Are you really that naïve?"

I scowled and shoved him again. "My name is Allen, Bakanda! And of course I know what a kiss is! The bigger question is why were _you_ kissing _me_?"

"Che. If you can't figure it out, that just proves that you're naïve."

Kanda's tone made me want to hit him, like I always did when he called me stupid. But I knew from experience that he wouldn't end my confusion if I got violent, and I desperately wanted to know what was going on in his head.

Forcing myself to remain calm, I thought about what he had said. Yes, he had called me an idiot, but that was apparently because he thought the reason for kissing me was obvious. Given what he had said before he kissed me, there was only one reason why he did it. And it was the same reason why I wanted him to kiss me.

But was that really possible? Did Kanda actually want me like that?

I narrowed my eyes at Kanda, searching his expression for any sign that could tell me whether I was right or not. His stoic expression gave nothing away, though I got the distinct impression that I was amusing him. I frowned at his mostly hidden smirk. "Ok, I give up. What's the joke here? You can't possibly have meant what I think you meant."

His smirk was no longer hidden. "And what is it that you think I meant?"

I punched his shoulder. I was very unamused with the situation. "There's no way that you kissed me because you wanted to, so spill. What's the joke?"

Kanda gained a very serious expression as he leaned so close to me that I hit my head on the headboard trying to lean away. "I never do anything I don't want to do."

The words and the closeness of his body made me swallow hard. He brushed a hand into my hair and I froze in shock. "Now, Moyashi, I know that you want me, so stop trying to argue, and just let this happen."

 _Let_ what _happen?_ I never got the chance to ask the question. The second I had opened my mouth, Kanda was capturing my lips and shoving his tongue inside my mouth. His hand that was in my hair was now gripping the stands firmly, while his other found the hem of my shirt and was now brushing against my bare skin. I was stuck. I knew that this was wrong, very wrong, but I wanted Kanda to touch me like that so badly that I couldn't make myself stop him.

I lost all rational thought when his hand reached my chest and he began tweaking my nipple. My thoughts became so clouded with pleasure that I couldn't get our kiss deep enough or my body close enough to his. All I cared about was that I was nearly naked while Kanda was fully clothed. It only took seconds for my fingers to find and undo the buttons on his jacket. He responded to my tugging on the fabric by breaking the kiss and pulling my sleeping shirt roughly over my head.

The garment got stuck halfway, and by the time I had disentangled myself from my shirt, Kanda was standing beside the bed, completely naked. His perfectly toned body shone in the moonlight, looking more like a statue in a museum than a real man. I openly stared at him, almost drooling as I took in his gorgeous form. My eyes drifted down from his muscular chest, tracing the lines of his well-defined abs down to his groin. His thick shaft was already erect, standing tall and proud, and ready for action. Its large size almost made me feel inadequate, but it made perfect sense that Kanda was packing that much heat so I didn't dwell on it. Instead, I took advantage of the situation and gave in to my longstanding desire to touch Kanda's cock.

I tossed the blankets aside and moved to sit on the edge of the bed, reaching out and running my fingers along Kanda's length. He responded to my touch with a moan that spurred me on. Kanda growled at me to stop as I traced my fingers along the veins, and when I didn't, he forcibly recaptured my lips and shoved his hand down the front of my shorts. I moaned into the kiss as his calloused fingers wrapped around my shaft and began pumping my length; it felt so good that I almost stopped what I was doing. Following Kanda's lead, I switched from exploring his dick to pleasuring him with my hands. Our kisses became little more than us breathing heavily into each other's mouths as the pleasure and tension built.

After a particularly rough yank on my shaft, I could no longer maintain my grip on Kanda, and I collapsed backwards against the mattress. He immediately pounced on me, kneeling over me and attacking my collarbone with his mouth, all without releasing his hold on my shaft. I let out a guttural scream as he bit down, marking my skin with a hickey that was going to take days to disappear completely. Not that I had the brain power to think of that at the time; I came in Kanda's hand before he was finished with the mark.

When I returned to my senses and had my breathing at least somewhat under control, I opened my eyes to find Kanda kneeling between my legs. Our eyes locked for a split second, and then he hitched my ankles over his shoulders. The action was immediately followed by something long and wet being pushed into my hole.

I briefly wondered when my boxers had been removed, but the discomfort of having Kanda's finger moving around inside me quickly distracted me. It felt weird to have something inside me like that, and it was even weirder to know that this whole thing was Kanda's idea. We were having sex because he wanted to, not because I had worn him down or begged him into doing it.

I whimpered in pain at the intrusion of a second slicked finger, and to my surprise, Kanda actually stopped moving the digits. He reached out with his free hand and brushed my bangs out of my face. I had squeezed my eyes shut to keep any tears from falling, but the gentle touch of Kanda's fingertips ghosting across my forehead had me opening them in a heartbeat. It took a moment to wrap my head around what I was seeing; Kanda actually looked like he felt bad for hurting me. "Ssh, Moyashi, just relax. It'll feel better if you let your muscles loosen up."

Letting out a deep breath, I tried to will my body to relax as the fingers inside me resumed stretching my passage. They scissored and curled and twisted, and right when I thought that this was taking too long and the moment might be over, one of the fingers brushed against a spot that made my toes curl and my vision go white. "Oh god, Yuu! There!"

Kanda repeatedly teased that spot as he continued to stretch my opening, and before I knew what was happening, I was bucking my hips, trying to get more friction from his fingers.

I tried not to whine when Kanda pulled his fingers out of me; I knew that the loss of that wonderful feeling was temporary and it was only a matter of moments before Kanda's glorious cock would be inside me. I felt his tip line up against my entrance and swallowed in apprehension. Even though I'd been thoroughly stretched, he was going to be too big for my hole.

It hurt so badly when Kanda suddenly snapped his hips forward and thrust his length all the way into me. I had to bite my cheek to keep from screaming in pain. But it faded; that sharp pain became a dull ache once Kanda was fully sheathed inside me. Letting out the breath I was holding, I felt my muscles shift as they adjusted to the intrusion, and, contrary to my expectation, I found that I hadn't ripped trying to accommodate Kanda's girth.

Kanda waited until I signaled that I was ready before he moved. He gently pulled most of the way out of me before slamming roughly back in. It still hurt, but the more he thrust, the more the pain was replaced with pleasure and before long, I was moving my hips in rhythm with his.

The feeling of Kanda's length filling and moving in my stretched passage was unforgettable. Each thrust filled me with the desire to make him go deeper and faster. He would tease me later for the way I begged for him to keep going, but my mind was too far gone at the time to care that I saying such embarrassing words. And once he shifted angles so that each thrust was ramming into my prostate, those words turned into incoherent gurgles. I came for the second time that night after a particularly hard thrust, my mind going completely blank as my body was consumed with pleasure.

When I came down from the orgasm, the first thing I was aware of was that Kanda's length was still inside me. I was worried at first that I hadn't been good enough for him, but the warm liquid that coated my insides and trickled out of my hole when Kanda pulled out proved otherwise. That was good; it would have been far too embarrassing if I was the only one of us get release from that.

Kanda smirked at me as he moved from between my thighs to lounge on his side beside me. I frowned at the expression, but it only stayed there for a second before that obnoxious smirk morphed into a contented smile, and I suddenly found myself wrapped comfortably in Kanda's arms with my back pressed against his strong chest. It was surreal to be held like that by Kanda. We were embracing like we were long-time lovers, rather than rivals who had just fucked for the first time, and that was weird.

There were so many questions rattling through my head that I couldn't focus on a single one. But I was pulled from my thoughts when Kanda's right hand began brushing through my hair. It was a gentle, caressing action, and it was not what I expected in the current circumstances. He kissed the top of my head before he spoke, and his voice was muffled by my hair. "Ok, now that that's out of the way, we can talk."

I raised an eyebrow even though I knew he couldn't see my face. "Shouldn't we have talked _before_ we had sex?"

"Che. If we had had sex _after_ talking, you'd get all mopey and whiny, wondering if I only said what I said to get you into bed. By doing it this way, you'll know that I mean them, and I won't have to repeat myself just to make you feel better."

His words made me frown. I wasn't sure if his logic made sense, but what he had said about me was definitely an insult. "Fine then, talk."

Despite the fact that we had just had sex, the words that came from his lips next were a complete shock. "You're so fucking gorgeous, Moyashi. I've wanted to do that to you since the day we met."

"What?" It almost made me panic to learn that Kanda had wanted me for as long as I had wanted him. But it was the other thing he said that I was focused on. No one had ever called me beautiful before. It was mind blowing that _Kanda_ of all people was the first to say it. And what it meant was even stranger. "You mean you actually like me? This wasn't just a one time thing?"

Kanda laughed at my reaction. He brushed my bangs away from my forehead and began tracing the pentagram of my scar with his fingers. "Stop playing naïve, Moyashi. You know that I finish what I start. Your ass is mine now."

I elbowed him in the ribs. As much as I liked hearing that he wanted more from me, I did not like the way he went about saying it. "There's no way I'm going to let you just use me for sex."

He snorted and flicked my forehead. "Yes, you would. I've seen the way you look at me, Moyashi. All I'd have to do is ask and you'd drop your pants on the spot. And there's no point in denying it, you've already proved that tonight."

I turned bright red at the words. They were horribly, embarrassingly true. I really had already given him my body simply because he wanted it. But as much as I hated myself in that moment, Kanda's next words smashed that feeling to smithereens.

"But I don't mind, because now that we've had sex, I can say this and you'll know I mean it. I love you, Allen. You drive me crazy in a way no one else can, and it may have taken the possibility of never seeing you again for me to realize it, but I need you with every fiber of my being. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I want to be the reason why you fight against that damn Noah inside of you, and I want to be the reason why you _win_. I want to be your most important person because you are mine."

The things he had said made my heart flutter, but as much as I believed that he was telling the truth about his feelings, there was no way that I was going to give mine up that easily, especially after how easily I'd given him my body. I turned in his arms and stared suspiciously at the sincere expression on his face. "Prove it."

"How?" The way his expression stayed honest and open was unexpected. "I've put a lot of thought into it, but I have no clue how I could possibly prove to you that my feelings are sincere."

I raised an eyebrow at him. It was hard to hide my smirk; I had Kanda right where I wanted him in order to best mess with him. "That's easy. If you really know me as well as you claim to, you would know that I am not a submissive."

Kanda briefly looked shocked, but it faded quickly, and he was once again brushing his fingers gently through my hair. "I thought you'd want something more meaningful than sex, but if that's really what you want, then that's fine with me. I'm more than willing to let you take me if it means you'll believe that I'm telling the truth."

I was somewhat impressed; Kanda at least knew me well enough to have understood what I was saying without me having to actually say it. And I may have been messing with him, but I was definitely serious about wanting to top him, and it meant a lot that he was willing to go along with that. But on the other hand, did he actually mean that he'd be willing to submit to me, or was he just saying what he thought I wanted to hear and hoping that simply offering would be enough to placate me? "You'd really let me do that to you just to prove yourself to me?"

He shrugged. "Why not? I would have let you do it anyway."

"Really?" I blinked at him, trying not to sound too surprised.

"Yeah." He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling for a moment before he smiled sideways at me. "At least once anyway. For all I know, the sex might actually be better with you on top. I'm willing to find out. And if it means that you'll believe that I love you, then that's all the more reason to do it."

Even with his earlier confession, that had to be the most romantic thing Kanda had said to me that night. I opened my mouth to speak, but Kanda suddenly propped himself up on his elbow and stared suspiciously at me. "Why are you giving me such a hard time about this?"

I smirked at him. "Did you really think I'd just say 'oh my god, I love you too' and that would be it? It may be true, but that doesn't mean I'm going to make it easy on you."

Kanda was scowling like he was going to argue with me, but then I blinked and he was suddenly pushing his lips against mine. We kissed briefly and when we broke apart, I found myself lying on top of Kanda with our chests pressed together; his hands on my ass held me firmly in place. He stared into my eyes and I almost lost myself in his cobalt depths. "Say it for real this time."

The time for teasing was over. I'd had my fun with him, now it was time to be serious. I gave him a quick peck then lay my head on his shoulder over his tattoo. "I love you, Yuu."

.x.x.

Allen and I had moved off to the side to talk, sitting in the corner while Kanda and my brother began moving the various boxes that cluttered the room. My jaw fell to my lap as I listened to Allen explain how he and Kanda got together back while they were on the run from the Order, and how they had been dating ever since.

It was stunning to hear that Allen and Kanda had been a couple for that long, and it was definitely embarrassing that I hadn't noticed their relationship in the slightest. They were supposed to be my best friends; I should have at least noticed that there was something going on between them. I felt better as I realized that I hadn't noticed because they'd been intentionally hiding it, homosexuality was a major taboo after all, but all that really did was make me feel like they didn't trust me.

I wanted to tell Allen how I felt, but before I could say anything, he started talking again. "Surprisingly, or maybe that's 'unsurprisingly', as it makes perfect sense in retrospect, Kanda was actually right about that whole 'reason to live' thing."

I blinked at him. "What do you mean?"

Allen sighed and dropped his gaze to his lap, his right hand absently playing with the fingers of his paralyzed left hand. "When Kanda and Johnny had found me, my days were numbered. The Fourteenth was trying to take over several times a day, and I was so exhausted from fighting him and being on the run that it wasn't uncommon for me to pass out for days at a time; I hadn't been exaggerating when I told Kanda I was losing. But after that first night together, after finally confessing my feelings and connecting with Kanda, everything was different. The Fourteenth was still trying to take over, but as Kanda and I grew closer, the attempts became easier to fight off and grew more and more infrequent, until they just stopped altogether."

That was surprising to hear. When Allen had returned to the Order, we had all been told that the Fourteenth Noah was dead. I had questioned Allen about it at the time, but all he would tell me was that it was true and that he'd been ordered not to share the details. I never once suspected that he'd beaten the Noah with love.

There was something off about this story though. I raised an eyebrow at Allen and voiced my confusion. "And where was Johnny while all this was happening? Wasn't he traveling with you?"

"He was. And he knew all about what was going on between me and Kanda, having walked in on us-" Allen paused and made a face, clearly trying not to say out loud that the scientist had seen them in an indecent state, "-more than once. I was very freaked out the first time it happened, but Johnny just laughed it off, saying that he was glad we'd found something more productive to do than stab each other."

Allen gave a sheepish smile with the words, and I couldn't help laughing at him a little. He made a face at me and then continued with his story as a way to change the subject. "Anyway, it was Johnny who pointed out when it had been two weeks since the last incident with the Fourteenth, and it was him who convinced me to come back to headquarters. It took quite a lot of convincing, I was obviously messed up after everything that had happened before I left, and-"

I interrupted with a snort. "Obviously."

"Right, you were there, you know what happened." He gave me that sheepish smile again. Then he sighed and ran his good hand through his hair before returning to his story. "When we got back, we met with Komui, but Johnny beat me to the explanation and told your brother everything. And I mean everything. He outed us as a couple before we got a word in edgewise."

"And how did my brother take that news?" I was incredibly curious about that. My psychotically overprotective brother was probably overjoyed to learn that the two men I was closest with were gay.

I was hoping for a story about my brother losing his cool, but I was disappointed. "He acted like it was perfectly normal for us to be together. It was freaky at the time, but I seriously doubt that our relationship would have survived this long without his help. He's been helping us hide from Central these past few years, and he's going to help us figure out how to hide our relationship out in the real world too."

I almost burst out in tears of joy as the meaning of his words hit home. "You mean you're coming with us?"

Allen smiled and squeezed my shoulder in a sideways hug. "For now. We haven't decided how long we're going to stay yet, but we'll at least stick around until we get a handle on civilian life and I can use my arm again."

I almost knocked my chair over returning his hug. I knew that it wasn't going to be for forever, but I was overjoyed that I would be having more time with those boys who were so precious to me. Allen laughed as he straightened my chair, and Kanda actually let me hug him when I called him over. What I had thought was going to be the saddest day of my, thus far, rather tragic life was now something wonderful.

.x.x.

A year of tests, exercises, and serums later, and I could actually stand from my chair. I could only walk a few steps without help, but with the crutches, I could go anywhere. At the rate I was recovering, I would be able to walk unassisted again in just a couple months, and from there it was only a matter of time before I'd be flexible enough to be able to kick my idiot brother in the head once more. When I wasn't working on my legs, I kept myself busy by working as a receptionist for the hospital.

Allen and Kanda worked as orderlies, fetching and carrying things for the nurses and scientists. They both agreed that the work was beneath them, but it was the only way to "earn their keep" and neither were the type to just sit idly around.

Allen's arm was almost completely back to normal. He had regained movement of the joints just six weeks after starting the therapy my brother had developed, and he was now back at full strength. He had lost a lot of his flexibility though, and was still working to regain his ability to cheat at cards.

The last year had been perfect. Sure, it was full of pain and hard work, but that was nothing compared to what being an exorcist had been like. Plus I loved working as a receptionist; it was so similar to my former hobby of bringing everyone coffee. And on top of that, I got to see my best friends every day and wasn't worrying about them being in life or death situations anymore. I had walked in on Allen and Kanda in bed together once, but they were fortunately under a blanket and I didn't see anything; I never forgot to knock after that.

Then came the day when Allen told me that they were leaving at the end of the month. I had cried and begged him to stay, but when he explained that he had fully recovered six months earlier and they had only stayed as long as they had because of me, I knew it was time to let them go.

Besides, once I finally stopped crying, Allen was able to tell me that they were only moving out of the hospital and into the nearby town. He and Kanda were going to be teachers at the boarding school, and they would have plenty of time to come visit me or meet me in town for coffee. They may have been leaving, but it wasn't like I was never going to see them again.

My brother had found them the jobs, just like he had promised he would. Komui and Mr. Kellner, the school's headmaster, had been meeting to discuss a potential alliance between the school and the hospital, and when it happened to come out that Mr. Kellner was supportive of homosexuality, Komui couldn't resist recommending Allen and Kanda for his staff.

The headmaster jumped at the chance to have an Asian teaching martial arts at his school, but finding a fit for Allen was a little harder. Which wasn't surprising to me. I knew Allen better than anyone, and I could not picture him teaching anything that wasn't "how to cheat at poker" or another equally disreputable subject.

I laughed when Allen confessed that he couldn't picture himself as a teacher either, but my laughter quickly turned to tears when he admitted that it was because he'd never gone to a single day of school in his entire life.

My sympathy for him just put him off, so I collected myself and tried a different tactic for making him feel better. "Don't worry about it, Allen. You're going to be great. It may take a while for you to get the hang of being a teacher, but once you do, you'll be everyone's favorite. The kids are all going to love you."

When the end of the month came, it was hard to say goodbye, but unlike when we left the headquarters of the Black Order, this wasn't an ending, it was a new beginning. I wasn't losing them; I was letting them have their freedom. We would be even better friends now that it was because we wanted to be friends rather than because it was what our circumstances dictated. And I was excited for what would happen next.

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

A/N 3/16/17: A seven month gap, but I finally posted another story. This is the last story in this series though. I've started several other stories with the intent of posting them here, but in their currently half-finished states, they're all already too long to be single chapter stories. I may in the future write a story short enough to go here, but after over a year of writing and posting fanfiction, I like the idea of posting stories individually now.

Which leads me to a question for all of you who read this story collection: I've been debating for some time about taking the collection down and posting the stories individually. I've gotten mixed feedback from the people I've talked to in real life, so I'd like to hear what you readers think. Would you prefer I leave the collection alone or would you like it better if I were to split it apart and post the stories separately?


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